Transcript: Episode 112
112. Emails
Welcome to the System Speak podcast. If you would like to support our efforts at sharing our story, fighting stigma about Dissociative Identity Disorder, and educating the community and the world about trauma and dissociation, please go to our website at www.systemspeak.org, where there is a button for donations and you can offer a one time donation to support the podcast or become an ongoing subscriber. You can also support us on Patreon for early access to updates and what’s unfolding for us. Simply search for Emma Sunshaw on Patreon. We appreciate the support, the positive feedback, and you sharing our podcast with others. We are also super excited to announce the release of our new online community - a safe place for listeners to connect about the podcast. It feels like any other social media platform where you can share, respond, join groups, and even attend events with us, including the new monthly meetups that start this month. Go to our web page at www.systemspeak.org to join the community. We're excited to see you there.
[Short piano piece is played, lasting about 20 seconds]
It’s been a crazy, crazy couple of weeks. Like, I can’t explain how hard it is, but I know that part of it is everybody going back to school. So, all the families are having the same issues. And we also have had some funerals this week, and it’s just been overwhelming. And so once again, I really want to thank the listeners who email in, because their encouragement and support means so much, and we really needed those messages today. So, let’s read some.
Kate has a question about communication.
She says, “I’m really hoping that Sasha is reading this. Love you, girl!”
That’s awesome. Love you too, Kate. Thanks for writing. Her question is about internal communication.
She says, “I’m in a little bit of trouble. So, to begin with, nobody has ever fully fronted, that I know of. It’s possible that it’s happened in the past, but I’m not aware of any switches. For my system, co-consciousness is the preferred method apparently. I have a feeling that they know how to fully switch, but they think I’m not ready for it. As of late, nobody has been “co-conning” with me either. I have a very hard time reaching them. I don’t have access to the inner world and it’s not like we can leave each other notes, because nobody is fronting. I’m at a loss for how to attempt communication right now. I really want to try to connect with them. Any insights or tips on internal communication, as doing so is extremely difficult, would be much appreciated.”
So, the first thing I want to say is that it sounds like Kate already knows a lot about how to communicate when they are able to, and you just really have to be creative with that. And so since she already knows all those ways, I don’t need to give more ways. There’s an app that we can use sometimes, where you can text each other on the phone, even if you’re not fully present or able to do that sometimes. And leaving notes, like she mentioned. And you can do the same thing inside, like messaging inside, even if it’s not actual, external, like on an app or in a notebook -- you could still write notes.
So like, John Mark delivers newspapers for all of us inside, every week. That’s a new thing. I don’t know if we’ve even talked about it on the podcast or not, but he writes up like, here’s kind of what’s going on, what people need to know about the outside, about what we need to know about what happened in therapy. And then he sort of delivers a copy to everyone. I don’t know how that works. I don’t know how he does that, or how we do that together, or what that’s like between the internal world and the imaginary world. How all of that works, I don’t have any idea. But, you can do the same things internally, even if you can’t get outside to do it.
So, Kate, it sounds like you’re on the right track. Maybe try some of those things, but do them internally instead of externally. Like sort of, almost like a meditation. Sort of relax and imagine yourself writing to them, but delivering it internally, rather than doing it on paper externally, if you’re not able to do that. Or go ahead and do it externally, but then sort of imagine yourself mailing it internally. Does that make sense? So, you can get creative with how you do that.
But also, the other thing I want to say in response to your question is that if there’s a reason that they are blocking communication, it might just be important to just respect that. So there may be good reasons that they’re protecting you from knowing that, and protecting you from what’s going on, and just trust them to work with you as a system, and to be doing what’s best for you as a system. Does that make sense?
Sometimes, like we don’t know the answers until later, and sometimes we don’t understand why until later, but there may be something going on, or someone who’s needing something, or some space, or something, that you don’t have all of the pieces for right now, but to them makes sense. And so definitely, at least for our system, any time there’s that kind of pushback, or that kind of walls going up, it’s absolutely the time to back way off, and give lots of space and time and respect for the needs of the others, who maybe are dealing with other things we don’t know about.
And what’s really important is giving them the benefit of the doubt and trusting them, that they are doing their best, and with the capacity that they have, and the resources they have, and letting them just be themselves, even in this process, while you’re trying to communicate and find out what’s going on. Um, I’m sure that every system is different, but for us, that’s a really big issue, and it’s really important that everyone is respected in that way.
She goes on to ask another question.
“Another question for you. When I can tap into the part of my brain that hosts my personalities” -- I don’t know what that means. Okay, “I always feel this overwhelming depression and sadness and hopelessness wash over me. I want to cry and curl up into a ball and never get up. Keep in mind, I already have severe depression on my own. I’m wondering if you have any idea why this happens? I don’t remember any trauma and I think they do. So, is it because of that? What’s going on? I don’t know.”
Okay, so again, Kate, that’s a really good question. Several different things to that. One is that -- just like your other question about communication, this is actually an example of communication. So if someone is communicating to you, how they are feeling. So, maybe their communication is not coming in words or other ways you’re familiar with, but you’re absolutely getting the feelings and sensations that someone else is experiencing inside.
And when we’re talking about traumagenic DID, then somebody knows the trauma, and it’s okay if you don’t know the trauma, or if it’s not time for you to know the trauma, or what that’s about -- that’s part of those walls going up, which is part of why it’s likely that it’s difficult for you to communicate with them. But you’re still getting communication, because feeling those things is communication from them. And just like you can have a flashback of a memory, or a flashback of seeing something or hearing something -- you can also have flashbacks of how you felt during something, or feelings that go with memories. Right?
So, that’s something we’ve learned from talking with guests on the podcast and learning more about how the brain works. And so, all of that counts and writing about those things, or talking about those things with your therapist, will absolutely give you more insight into what’s going on. And not just who’s there, or why they feel that way, but also how you can help them, and how you can offer them comfort. And so, what would you do for someone who was crying and curled up into a ball and felt like they could never get up? How could you reach out to them?
Maybe in your imagination, think about that, and what you could do to help someone who is experiencing that. And in your responding to them and reaching out to them, you may learn more about who they are and what they need, but also they will learn from you, that those needs can be met in now time, and that now time is safe, and you may feel better as you’re able to work together on both sides of the communication piece. Does that make sense?
Then she also says, “I know of at least one Alter, a fragment of a younger me, who carries all of the childhood pain, and painful childhood memories with her. And her job is to carry that pain.”
Ugh. That hurts my heart.
She says, “When she co-cons with me” -- so, when she is co-conscious -- “I feel it too. Her sadness is overwhelming. It makes sense why she’s so sad all the time, because she’s a trauma holder, and she only has one job. I’m not sure about the rest of them though. I’d love to know what you think about my current predicaments. I really don’t know why I feel this horrible depression every time I contact them. Thank you for making your podcast and opening up to us. Kate.”
So, the same thing, if they’re holding trauma, then that really is hard, and you should be sad about trauma. That’s a violation to your body and to your emotions and to your senses. And so it makes sense that someone is feeling sad about that. It sounds like your system is working great, and that that makes perfect sense, that part of you would be feeling sad that trauma happened to you all. So, I think just being understanding of that and compassionate of that and reaching out to that Part of yourself and soothing that Part of yourself and offering comfort in some way and finding what feels safe for that Part of yourself -- that’s definitely going to be work to do with your therapist, and will help both of you feel better as other work -- even as the rest of your work unfolds.
So, I wish you well, and thanks for writing it and sharing a little bit about your story. Thank you, Kate.
We also got two different emails that both asked us to respond privately. And we will try to when we are able to, but both of them were asking questions about trying to share experiences or knowledge publicly online, while also being afraid of being found out. And that’s absolutely a thing we could talk about.
Starting the podcast was a really big deal, and we absolutely used a pseudonym for the podcast, so that we could have a little bit of a buffer between us and our family and people who were just looking us up for other reasons, or the general public that doesn’t need to know everything about our lives. But that being said, at the same time, we’ve also already been doxed and have already shared a great deal about our life. But, I think as you listen to the podcast, you hear sort of that process of sort of our own coming out, a little bit, of learning who and where and when it’s safe to share more about our DID in public, whether that’s through the podcast or coming out with the ISSTD or finding other professional friends who are also survivors. But at the same time having good boundaries about it. We don’t just tell everyone in our life about it, and we don’t just tell everyone that we work with or are colleagues with or in person. For us, that’s not possible for a variety of reasons.
But, other people, like earlier in the podcast, we talked to Liberty. And their system is very open and out and public about their DID, and they work in the mental health field. So, there are ways to do it. The risk is always there…of course, that you could get hurt. So, it was really scary when we were getting doxed, and we were concerned that we had put our family at risk, even though we hadn’t really done anything wrong. The fear was real. And opening up to new friends was risky, because trusting them to be your friends and then that failing hurts so deeply and is so wounding, especially when it just feels like our fault, because we don’t know how to do it. We’re not good at it. We already knew we weren’t good at it, so why did we even try. It all escalates so quickly into this ball of shame that’s just awful and difficult.
But, at the same time, if we don’t try, we won’t be able to find the friends who are able to sort of ride through that with you, and stay supportive and understanding of what DID is, and the process, and that includes the dissociating. So, losing time and struggling to open up about things and all the experiences that together build friendship, whether that is with friends or whether that’s professionally. But at the same time, making that effort and attempting to do so will help you find good ones.
So, not trying is for sure making it not possible, because it won’t happen if you don’t try. But also, trying is really scary, because other people are going to fail you, and other people are going to give up on you, and other people are going to hurt you, just the same as you’re going to make mistakes too, because we’re all human. But it doesn’t mean that any of that is malicious or intentional, and it’s just really unfortunate when it happens. And the grief of it is just unbearable almost. But without trying, it doesn’t happen at all, and you miss out on the richness that they bring when good people come into your life.
The other piece of that is the more that you share, the more accessible your system is. And that’s a good point. And so there are some boundaries in not sharing everything about your system, so that your system can’t just be accessed by those who are unsafe or abusive, and that’s absolutely a good point that they brought up when they wrote in. And so we can talk about this more privately on email. I’ll respond to you when we’re able to, but it’s sort of the same as trusting friendship. If you can do it with good boundaries and good pacing and in a context that feels safe and inviting, rather than pushy or punitive, then trying is worth it.
And when you ask about abusers being out there, or trying to interact for the wrong reasons -- unfortunately, we can’t stop them. We can’t change other people or control other people. We can only choose how to respond to them. And we can only choose our own actions and behaviors and interactions. So, I can’t make someone else be a friend to me the way I need a friend, in the same way that I maybe can’t be a friend the way someone needs me to be a friend.
So yes, we totally have fears about abusers trying to understand survivors for the wrong reasons, but we also know they have no control over us. We can have good boundaries, and we can choose our responses to people and the world around us, and handle that in healthy ways, without being stopped because of our fears. Does that make sense?
So, we’ll talk about it more privately, but I hope that answers your questions. Thank you.
Melissa says, “I’m 49 and was diagnosed for a second time about a year ago. I’m not great with timeframes. The first time was in my twenties, when I was getting therapy for childhood trauma. I rejected that diagnosis and did my fair share of acting out in between diagnoses. My shame and struggle with this has been made easier by hearing how similar we are. My husband rolls his eyes at my trauma and pretty much tells me to get over it. I don’t really have a question. I just wanted to reach out and express my appreciation for the podcast. Mine and your peeps are almost identical in age and duties. I feel validated for the first time in my life.”
That’s amazing, Melissa. I’m so glad you have found it supportive. We totally had that time gap between the first time we were diagnosed and finding a good therapist that we have now. And absolutely had some acting out in between then. So, it’s a big deal and I get that shame and struggle, and I know it’s so hard. So, I’m glad that connecting through the podcast helps you feel more comfortable and at ease.
It breaks my heart that your husband rolls his eyes at your trauma and tells you to get over it. That is really hard, and I know adds a whole new layer of mis-attunement, which makes healing even harder. When there are people that you love so much, and you desperately need them to understand how hard things were, or how hard things are, and that you’re at your capacity of dealing with them, and instead, they want you to be something else, or be more than what you’re able to do, or be different than you’re able to be, and then dismiss you because of that -- it is so violating. And it’s so re-traumatizing. And it’s just heartbreaking, especially when it’s someone you love so much. And I understand, in my own way, especially from friendships, having lost friends, because we couldn’t be enough of what they needed or wanted, and they didn’t understand how hard things were for us, or that we were trying to function in the ways that we could. And it was really just so damaging.
And so to have someone as close to you as your husband not understanding that -- I can’t imagine how isolating that is and I’m really so impressed with your courage to reach out and to connect and to speak up on the podcast and to share your stories. So, thank you Melissa, for writing in.
LD, you wrote in again, and I’m so grateful for you and your encouragement. It just comes every month it feels like. And as we continue to struggle, and continue to be confronting our fears about sharing our story, and learning through the interviews, and are experiences on the podcast -- your friendship has just been so valuable. And thank you for another message.
They say, “Thank you for sharing the bits of the lost interviews that you could. Mainly, I want to thank you for your continued and infectious positive outlook. You never seem to give up, and I appreciate you sharing what you do. You are a blessing, and I’m so grateful I found your podcast. Keep up the wonderful job and thank you for all you do. Love and hope. LD”
Uh, I cannot tell you how much we needed this today. It has been a really, really hard day [crying] and I’m really grateful for your message of encouragement and hope. And I can’t tell you how much it means to us. Thank you.
This email says, “I just want to share that I’ve been listening to your podcast since the beginning. I love it. I’m currently finishing my PhD and my dissertation is about exploring therapist’s knowledge and competency when treating DID. I don’t have DID, but as a therapist, I can relate with your experiences since I’ve heard horror stories from my clients in regards to their past therapy experiences. Helping people with DID is my passion, and the purpose of my dissertation is to be able to generate a treatment manual training for graduate students, and also to train already licensed therapists in the community to treat DID effectively. I admire you guys so much for what you are doing. Your courage and your passion to help educate others. I would love to get in touch with you, or to talk, or even to collaborate in the near future. I can only tell you there’s a handful of us who understand and treat DID, and that’s another reason why I feel a sense of social justice to educate others, and why I admire you so much. Keep doing what you’re doing, and I hope to hear from you soon.”
Absolutely - we would love to work with you, and I will send you an email. Thank you for reaching out and thank you for what you’re doing.
Susanne wrote in and says, “I’m glad for outside sounds on your episodes, even though they are sometimes hard to hear. They are a comfort and feels like a close friend talking about living, while they are in their best place. The cicadas really helped me feel safe and grounded. Please don’t fix the background noise. It feels for real.”
Oh, that’s so funny. That’s funny. Uh, that’s memories. I forgot. Yeah. That comes from when Julie said to stop talking about the cicadas and the background noise, and to just let it be. I miss them. It’s so hard. But I’m glad you like it, and I’m glad you understand the comfort that’s in that space. And you’re so sweet to write in and support us about [laughs] the cicadas. [Laughs] That’s so funny. That’s so funny.
This email does not have a name, but it says, “I find your podcast lovely, and they encourage me to be introspective about my own life in a positive way. Thank you for that. I hope you’re keeping well. If I could ask a non-serious question, you seem to have traveled a lot and seen a lot of places. Is there any country, at the moment, you would like to visit?”
Oh, that’s true. So, we grew up in a military family, and traveled a lot growing up. And so we have traveled a lot, and have continued traveling into adulthood on our own. So, if there’s any country at the moment I would like to visit, I think immediately, when I start thinking about different countries, I start thinking about their food. [Laughs] If we went back to Africa right now, I would want some groundnut soup. If we were in Australia again, I would want some fresh fish and fruits. If we were in France, I would want cheese and bread. If we were in Israel, I would want that bread with the zatar on it, that you can buy in the streets? You know what I’m talking about, like in Jerusalem especially? Oh, it’s so good. I have it at home, and it does not taste as good as when you buy it on the street in Israel. England - I just want breakfast. I want an English breakfast all day long. I’m good with that. [Laughs] I think we get very food-focused when we travel. [Laughs] I don’t know if that was helpful…what you were saying. There’s so many things. There’s so many things.
This is from LD, who I just responded to another email of hers. But, she wrote in about the Mother Hunger episode, and she said, “Oh my word. You all are amazing. Thank you, again, for blowing my mind. Again, you have given me so much hope to help my children break this generational cycle of mental pain. You all are in my brain and working to shed light on hope. I adore all of you, and thank you so much for your hard work. I have shared the podcast, Kelly McDaniel, to my Facebook page, in hopes that other mothers in my life will listen to these beautiful pearls of wisdom. I personally have listened to the podcast four times. It’s so significant to my past, yet I had never heard of the concept. That makes so much sense. Oh my goodness. You have helped some of my personal guilt subside. I have self-loathing and shame regardless, and I am finally in therapy for the first time ever. So, thank you for that. But, this podcast in conjunction with all System Speak previous podcasts, has helped soothe my mother's guilt to the past behaviors I dumped on my own children. I today am a better mother thanks to you all - attunement, being present instead of dissociating all the time -- which, by the way, I never even understood I was doing, until this podcast. And all of your continuous hard work and research and in presenting this vital information regarding mental health, that resonates with so many -- and you present it in such a non-judgment way and calming way, as if you are presenting all this magic just for me. You all are beyond words. I’m so grateful I found you all - a beacon of light in this dark and lonely world. Much love and thanks.”
Uh, you have just filled my heart to overflowing. That was beautiful and so gracious of you. I’m so glad you loved it. This Kelly McDaniel episode is actually the most listened to podcast episode ever, so far, which is huge, because it’s a brand new episode. So even some of the original episodes that are almost a year old, the Kelly McDaniel one has been listened to so many times. And so I’m really glad that word is getting out, and that it’s spreading, because it’s a powerful message of healing, and taught me so much about friendship, and motherhood, and my own childhood. And it’s one of those times where I wish I knew this a year ago, or ten years ago, or five years ago, or when I made friends, or when I got married, or when I started having children -- it’s just such a powerful thing. And what matters -- what matters is that we have it now. And so maybe we can’t fix those past friendships, or we can’t undo what we’ve done with our own children so far, and maybe we can’t fix what our parents did -- especially in cases like mine, where the parents are dead already. We can’t change those things. But what we can do is start from now, and we can move forward with the things we have learned, and the healing that has come, and that is a beautiful, beautiful, powerful thing.
This email has no name, but says, “I just finished listening to the Wall of Terror podcast, and I love it. There are so many good insights. I’ve known, kind of, about skin hunger, but others have called it “touch starved.” It’s the same thing, I guess, but I’m super excited as well to hear the next podcast, and will probably listen to Mother Hunger again before it. As for now, I may listen to the Wall of Terror again and give my brain time to process.”
Oh my goodness. Those three episodes right in a row were huge. They were so powerful and such a breakthrough. The Kelly McDaniel one about Mother Hunger, and then the Wall of Terror one, where we kind of put things together with the Daniel Siegel podcast episode that came next -- they were huge breakthrough moments for us. And I’m so glad that other people are listening and responding, and that it’s been so helpful.
Ann writes in to say, “I signed up for regularly monthly giving for the podcast, and I have appreciated listening talking about needs. That’s exactly what I’m learning with my husband, and I’m so grateful. Thank you again.”
There’s some more that’s in there that’s private, but yes, the regular subscribers were so grateful for you…for supporting the podcast and making it possible for the time and energy and important people that we have on the interviews -- all of these things. We’re so grateful for those who are supporting the podcast and helping it to stay up and to keep going and supporting our work on the podcast. Truly, truly, truly grateful, for those of you who are helping in that way. Thank you.
This email is from Tylor. Tylor says, “Oh my gosh, can I just say that I’m super excited to have discovered you? I’m a therapist in Minnesota that works with complex trauma and dissociative disorders. I knew next to nothing about them until a little over a year ago, and I have become super passionate and have learned a lot with so much more to learn. So firstly, I just want to thank you for your courage and incredible resilience to not only cope with what’s happened to you, but then to become a resource and a source of validation and hope for so many who feel so alone in their experience. I have been hoping for a podcast that would go more in depth with dissociative disorders, because I have a lot to learn, and I’m so grateful for yours that not only is educational for me, but comes with firsthand experience. I have only just started and cannot wait to listen to more. I want to thank each Part of the self for this podcast, whether by direct contribution, indirect contribution, or by allowing it to happen. Each and every Part is important and has a purpose.”
Aww. That’s awesome.
Okay, so then he says more. “So, I’m really glad I got to share that. Truthfully, it isn’t my primary motivator for writing you, but I mean every word. The biggest reason I’m reaching out is more personal. I’ve been searching for an answer to a question, but haven’t been able to find one anywhere, and all of the sudden you popped into my head. If anyone has an answer to this, it seems as though it would be you. I’m wondering if you, or Dr. E, have had similar experiences. So, here’s my situation that I’m desperately trying to better understand. Since working with a lot more dissociative disorders, I notice myself often becoming dissociative myself. This is some background, with my more direct question below. I know that it's not uncommon to pick up signals from the other through attunement and the right brain to right brain connection, but it comes on quite strong and quite often when I’m seeing clients. I still seem to be able to push through and maintain for the most part. It is concerning to me. It’s something I’m working on limiting as best I can. I have been diagnosed with narcolepsy, which involves REM, which also could be a factor, though I don’t necessarily feel tired when I get foggy, though sometimes I do. This has caused me to question if the reason my dissociation is easily triggered might be because I have a dissociative disorder myself, though I feel like I’ve looked and can’t find anything. Can you relate to having dissociation easily triggered by others? What are your thoughts?
Woah. Okay so, this is not really my territory. Dr. E [silence].
So, part of it is like what you’re saying, is about recognizing that when you’re in an attunement situation, in the therapeutic process, that you’re going to experience some of those things vicariously. So, we’re going to talk to Dr. Barach about your question, because he is our friend and a safe person to ask questions like this, to what is it like for a therapist who works with DID clients. So, we’re going to ask him about some of this. So, we will get back to your question.
The other piece of your question is, “There’s a strange phenomena in my heart rate. I wear an Apple Watch and it records my heart rate throughout the day. I’ve noticed a pattern where there’ll be a very steep drop in my heart rate sometimes, when I am seeing clients. Sometimes it’s brief or jumping up and down. Other times it persists through the end of the session or longer. I’m on stimulants for my narcolepsy, and so my resting heart rate is typically between 90 and 110. However, during the drops, it will fall to 60 to 70, which is my sleeping heart rate. The weirdest thing is, I don’t notice anything, or feel different when it drops like that. I haven’t found a connection with the brain fog dissociation either. It never drops like that when I’m home or on weekends. It only happens when I’m seeing clients. Have you tracked or noticed anything like this with your heart rate? Any thoughts or guesses? Just wondering if you can relate to any of it.”
Okay Tylor, so that’s a really good question. Part of it is sort of that meditative state in which dissociation happens. So when you’re joining with someone in that, you’re joining more than just in a mental way. So, it kind of goes back to polyvagal theory, and when you’re attuning to someone with that, your body’s going to respond in similar ways, and with similar feelings. This is part of why it’s so important for self-care with therapists, and we can talk about this more with Dr. Barach.
But, it’s just your -- think of the polyvagal theory and apply it to yourself as well, not just with your clients, because your body is responding to the state that they are in, and the state that you are holding for them in that space. So, for example, if we go to therapy and we’re super anxious or we’re super scared or there’s a specific memory that we’re working through -- when we enter the therapist’s office, she is so good about grounding us and helping us to breathe and helping us to bring that anxiety down, but she does that by connecting with us, and then holding that space for us until we can get there ourselves. Which means, she can’t go into our session all worked up and anxious, even though she has a real life outside of our session, or we’re not able to do that, and she’s not able to help us. Does that make sense?
So, I think you’re just very gifted at connecting and attuning with them. And because you’re able to hold that space, you’re recognizing it physiologically as well. Does that make sense? I hope that helps and we’ll absolutely talk about it more with Dr. Barach.
Kelly says, “Oh my goodness. I’m so excited. I was listening to Sasha’s recent podcast when she’s answering questions. The person said that she has found a majority of her Alters through EMDR. I have had the same experience. Some of my Parts have revealed themselves either during EMDR with my therapist, or within 24 hours after the session.”
So, that’s amazing. Kelly, I’m so glad that you shared. I’m so glad that you wrote in and let us know that so that other people could hear that too. Also just…I appreciate you. You’re pretty active on the support groups and online and online friends, and so I appreciate you connecting and that you shared your experience with us. I know it’s helpful to so many.
We got an email from the Diamond Collective saying, “I’ve attempted a number of times to contact the System Speak, via the online form, but it’s not working. So, I’m trying to see if this works.”
It totally worked. We got your email. Thank you. Let us know what you wanted to chat about.
Ann Marie says, “I just found your podcast. I’m a psychologist and think you are all very courageous to do this, and I’m learning so much from you all. Thank you and take good care.”
Ka-bam! You guys, let me tell you -- when we came out to the ISSTD…so amazing. The support that we got and the emails that were sent to us privately were so powerful and so encouraging. It was maybe the most strength we have ever received from a collegiate experience, like from peers. It was incredible. So much more than we could have imagined or even fathomed would have happened, and the response has been so positive. And we are so, so grateful, and it has encouraged us to try and connect in new ways, and maybe even participate in new ways. It’s just been amazing. So thank you, Ann Marie, for writing in.
Ian says, “Thanks for your podcast. I’m wondering if you know any forums or other resources for therapists who have DID themselves.”
I do not know of any forums. I do know of one online group that is for therapists who have DID, and I think there’s a second one…I just haven’t been able to find it. So, maybe look on Facebook and check out the groups and ask there. Good luck!
Stacey wrote in and said, “I love your podcast. It’s so well done.”
And then she said she wanted to share a resource in case it’s helpful. And she sent a video, which we will check out and see if it’s helpful. Thank you, Stacey.
[Inaudible] writes in and says, “A heartfelt thank you for sharing your insights and reflections. I can’t talk out loud and I don’t know why yet, but hearing you speak on the podcast helps me realize I am inside and a part of something I don’t quite understand. I don’t know who I am, but I relate a lot to what you say. Thank you for helping me realize I am here.”
Oh, that’s so powerful and I’m glad that it has been helpful and I welcome you and thank you for sharing and take your time and be gentle with yourself as you get oriented and listen to some more podcasts. And hopefully that will help you understand a little bit about what’s going on.
So, thank you again. I just wanted to go through emails. There were so many and I wanted to share a few of them. They are so encouraging and they help us have the strength to keep going and to keep sharing on the podcast. And those of you who share financial support so that we’re able to continue the podcast -- we are so, so grateful to be able to maintain the site and to maintain the podcast and the technology it requires and the storage space that it needs -- all of these things. It is such a gift that you have done in supporting the podcast, both financially and through the emails and your encouragement. And we are so, so grateful, because sometimes it does feel too hard. And sometimes it does feel like too much, and yet always, there is that support that makes it possible. And we truly, truly could not do it without you. Thank you.
Thank you for listening. Your support really helps us feel less alone while we sort through all of this and learn together. Maybe it will help you in some ways too. You can connect with us on Patreon. And join us for free in our new online community by going to our website at www.systemspeak.org. If there's anything we've learned in the last four years of this podcast, it's that connection brings healing. We look forward to connecting with you.