Transcript: Episode 39
39. Snow Soccer
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[Short piano piece is played, lasting about 20 seconds]
Man guys, there’s so much snow here and I got to go on a walk. I got to go on a walk, because I need to be outside and it feel good and it feel better if I go on a walk. But there is lots of ice so I cannot walk all the way to the park, because I don’t want to fall on the ice, because well, guess what? We are feeling good.
Well, a little bit not today, but we can start racing again, because do you know Emma T? She remember what the Emma’s...she remember how we used to do a lot of racing. Well, little races, but I like it and it’s fun and there’s chocolate milk at the end of a race and she remember that and so she said we keep doing them races again and I thought I am so excited. But the doctor said, “I don’t think that’s a good idea. You cannot do it.” Well, that made her so ruffled feathers that she just going to and do it anyway. So, we’re going to do it.
So, I don’t want to get hurt, because our first race is in two Saturday’s and I’m very excited. Also, if I go on a walk that helps me feel better. I like be outside. If I had farm, my own farm, I be doing chores all the time and be outside and it would be hard work and messy and I like it.
But, I don’t got no farm. I just got kids. They’re messy and I don’t like it. I like being outside and there’s no cold wind, just cold snow. But the sun shine’s pretty warm so I pretty much like that a lot. But I can walk here in the snow if I don’t walk on the ice, only in the snow, but I got my boots on.
Woah, what is this? I got a walking stick. I got a walking stick. There’s too much ice. My walking stick won’t push in. Ugh. I’m just going to do this.
[Background noise of the stick against a chain link fence]
Did you know one time? One time it was winter and well, you know what, woah! You know what we did? One time we played Walden. Walden is called a book and I don’t know about it very much, but I know who read it and we played it and know what we did? You know what we did? We did not use electricity or heat all winter. What I got to do was I got to go and chop trees every day. And then I have an axe and a saw for making my firewood. So, I had to cut down some branches. I never cut down a whole tree - not all by myself, a big one. And you don’t cut down a baby tree, that’s just rude. Like you don’t get a baby deer. That’s just mean. I left the baby trees alone.
The big trees, they’re in the mood for sharing and so I cut down some branches. I can saw them off and then I can chop my wood up and we use a fire. And I’m good at building fires and we had a fire all winter. And then you know what happened? We even cook on the fire - a lot of stew and things like that. I need some stew. I like stew. Stew’s pretty tasty. If you want to eat some stew, you gotta have some beans in it and some potatoes in it and carrots in it. And it will taste better if you can put in a can of tomatoes, whether you like tomatoes or not.
And sometimes if you got dollars, you can have crackers with your stew maybe or a piece of toast or something if them girls aren’t looking. But if them girls are looking, you’re not going to get no toast. But stew’s pretty healthy I think. You can put corn in there and you can put some green beans, maybe some carrots and you can cook it right up on the fire pretty easy.
So we did that and then know what happened? There was an ice storm. There was an ice storm and then everybody was the same as us and they don’t got no heat or electricity, because there was ice on everything. But we were okay, because we were already having a plan of it and our whole porch full of firewood, because I’m really good at chopping. And you know what happened? Well, people tried taking my firewood and I said there’s not going to be none of that. You leave my firewood right there. I worked hard for it all by myself, thank you.
Because that’s not the same as sharing. If you want to be nice to someone and share with them, that’s the right thing to do. But you can’t just take stuff from people. That’s just disrespectful. That’s not alright. So, I like sharing. I don’t like getting taken from.
But I’m going to dig this hole in the ice with my stick and I can plant a flag like a clubhouse. You know what? Our house, on the back is a wood deck and under the wood deck is a clubhouse. We build it and them kids built it and we have a lot of fun in there. But you know what is the best clubhouse of the whole world? The safest, coolest, best clubhouse was well, that’s my therapist’s office.
I like when I get to see. I like talk to her. If I get to talk to her, I feel better. And if she talk to me, she feel better. But I can tell her things and she just told me about football and we play football. I like football.
You know what I saw? I saw the therapist yesterday. I did...just for a minute. Just for a minute, because I got to take turns and I got to share. Sometimes when I’m taking turns and I got to share her, I miss her, because I like talking to her myself, but I got a lot of things to tell her, but so does a lot of people. And even Sarah, Sarah’s my friend, she talk to her and she got some things to say, but they’re not things I can talk about right now and I don’t want to talk about it.
Yesterday you know who saw her? Is sister. Sister talk to her for just a minute or listen to her, because well, we got hard things about our brother. And we got to talk about that, but it’s hard talk about that and I’m not really like it and it give me some pains. And my therapist said them pains are called body memories - it’s a new word. It’s a new word called body memories. My therapist said if you talk about hard things, then when you remember it, then your body remembers it too and ugh.
[Background noise of a stick hitting a chain link fence]
Ugh, I don’t want to talk about it.
[Background noise of a stick hitting a chain link fence]
These days are a switch. If you have to switch, you hear that?
[Background noise]
That’s a switch sound. Be a switch stick and I want to throw it. I don’t want no switch. I don’t want to get a whoopin’. My therapist said I don’t got to get no whoopin’. She said we’re not even bad. She said we’re not. Evidence is we are not bad. That’s a evidence of it, because I’m not bad and I don’t need a whoopin’.
That’s called a trigger and I don’t even like it. It’s called a trigger. That’s another word. My therapist teach me words. It’s called trigger if something now time make you think of something memory time. So, I’m not even scared.
[Background noise]
I’m not even scared because now time is safe. Now time is safe. This is my office and you are safe. Now time is safe. Memory time. Memory time is over. It’s not even right now, it’s in the past. It’s over, it already happened. Now time is different.
Therapy has two parts. Therapy has two parts, it’s got like two parts - a part one and a part two. And a part one is called now time is safe. And now time is safe means everything’s is okay. It means you’ve got a house and you’ve got food and you’ve got clothes and The Husband, he’s a good one, and the children are okay, no one's hurting them and no one's hurting you and you can meet all of your own needs all by yourself and you know how to ask for help if you need some help. And all of these things are for now time is safe.
Memory time is not safe, because you’ve got parents that are not good, they’re not doing their job and they say mean things, and they do mean things. And well, it’s hard to deal with it. It’s hard to know what to do and you can’t do nothing to make it better.
[Background noise of a stick on ice]
And you’re going to get hurt.
[Background noise of a stick against a chain link fence]
It’s just really hard, you guys, but it’s not right now. And our therapist said our parents are dead. So, if you hear or see the parents then you know it’s memory time, because now time there are no parents. That’s the difference - now time is safe, but now time you don’t get a whoopin and there are no switches for nobody. And now time is different. That’s part two of therapy.
Part two of therapy is now time is different. Part one is now time is safe and you can write on your hand if you forget. Part two is now time is different and if you’re not sure if it’s different and you just look at your watch and it lights up and you remember that now time is safe all the time. And you have a therapist all the time. Your therapist isn’t mad at you or leaving you or man, it’s hard to tell the difference. Now time is different so part one is now time is safe and part two is now time is different.
Now time, if you have a hard day, you can go for a walk in the snow. But you got to wear your boots so your feet don’t get cold. Because now time is safe and you have your needs and I needed some boots. So, I have some boots. I don’t got a coat yet, but we almost going to get a coat maybe. I did have a coat, but we gave it to somebody and now we don’t have a coat. But I got boots and if you have boots, then you can just go on a walk.
But the hard thing about having boots is...well, it’s good for walking in the snow, but the bad thing for walking in the snow in your boots, is if your socks come off in your boots. And then people in the neighborhood,if they are looking out their windows at you or driving by the park or something and they see you, they’ll just say, “Man, there goes that kid with the naked feet in his boots.” It’s kind of embarrassing if your socks come off in your boots, but woah, look what I found! A soccer ball!
Huh! Yes!
[Background noise of running in the snow]
Huh! Oh yeah, that was a good one. Man, the sun is coming out like it wants to make me happy - all kinds of happy.
I know how to play soccer. I’m good at soccer, because well, I got to play in foster care. But that foster care was at Iowa which is not here and there’s more snow there even than here.
[Background noise of kicking a soccer ball]
Oh, that got caught in the snow. That was like golfing out of the sand. Man.
I’m going to use this stick and hit that golf ball like it’s a soccer ball I’m golfing. Soccer golf. I can play snow soccer.
In Iowa you try to play soccer, but it doesn’t work because you spend more time getting that ball out of the cornfield than you do playing on that ball. So, it’s like corn soccer. I don’t like to play corn soccer. But, I like to play snow soccer. I can do it.
[Background noise of running in the snow]
Oh yes, that was the best one. Oh man, it went across so I can’t get it. Oh man. That’s a good kick though. I win that. I am a winner. Write my score in the snow so everybody knows I won.
Today we were supposed to go to see a therapist - a new therapist. But, it’s for palliative care. Palliative care means your baby is going to die, but she didn’t yet. And she’s not a baby. Like babies can’t take care of themselves. My therapist told me that. She said babies can’t take care of you. Babies can’t take care of themselves, I mean. She said they got to have parents to take care of them and parents can’t be mad for babies can’t take care of themselves - she told us that yesterday. I’m not even kidding.
And we did not go and see a therapist today, because I don’t want to. We got a good therapist and I want to keep her and she’s my friend and she said I can keep her.
[Background noise of a stick hitting a chain link fence]
Ugh, man. And so, we didn’t tell anyone we have another therapist, because we didn’t want to tell them about her or tell them about all of us. So, we didn’t say nothing and that’s why they got us a new therapist. But we decided to just call and cancel it and hope we don’t get in trouble. I don’t want to get in trouble or DHS to come or something for ‘cause we didn’t have that appointment, but I don’t want to go to another therapist and I don’t want another therapist. I just... I got a therapist I like. So, we got to figure that out, but I’m not figuring it out today.
I just want to walk today, maybe outside in the sunshine and play a little bit for so we don’t have no pains - no body pains. And I know it’s okay, because now time is safe and just remember now time is safe and I will see my therapist really soon again. Maybe sister can talk to her or Sarah can talk to her or something. We got a lot of things to talk about and our therapist is waking up that girl.
She’s waking up that girl and I don’t know if that therapist will stay with her, because that’s okay because I like the therapist. But I don’t know if she will just waking up and I don’t know what happens. If she know about all this...if we got to talk about some things.
I got to tell the therapist, I got to say, “Hey buddy, I got to tell you something.” I got to tell her about this girl, just how...well, the girl just, she just there and we got to keep her safe and we keep her in well, we…
[Silence for approximately ten seconds]
If you have somebody like a little girl or something, you can’t just lock them away. You can’t let them be hungry.
[Background noise of a train whistle]
You can’t let them go to the bathroom on themself. You can’t let them get hurt or do things that give them body pains. You can’t do things with them, because it’s not very nice and our therapist said nobody can do it again. Nobody can do it. It’s not okay to do that. Sometimes if you’re just a girl, not like a boy, you strong and going to take care of everybody, but just a girl. I mean girls are nice. I’m not being mean to girls. I’m just saying if somebody hurts a girl and give them body pains really bad, you just tear them in half. You just split them in half, just rip them apart like them paper dolls I was talking about kind of.
If you do that, then you got one girl… then there’s two girls and then if you keep doing that, then there’s four girls and it’s like you look at this tree. See this big tree right here? If you look at this big tree and then you look up and then there’s one branch goes this way and that branch goes that way, then you have two branches instead of one branch. And then there’s more and more of them and then there’s just a lot of us and I think it was an accident. We did it. We didn’t mean to.
Sometimes we get new people like that, but we got a new person and the therapist didn’t even get mad at us. Everybody is safe and everybody is welcome. Everybody can come to her office and everybody can talk to her and tell her some things.
I’m trying to make a bow out of this stick for so I can hunt. I’m going to make...I’m going to tie it to a bow and then I just got to make an arrow. If I can make a bow, I can go hunting or something - not for baby deers. I’ll just get that big one that tries to get in our car. I don’t want a deer in my car.
I think I got it tied. I think better and I talk better if I can do something with my hands. I don’t know why is that. But if I’m making a bow with this stick, I can do some good thinking. If I got some work to do, I can do some good thinking. If I can do some working with my hands, because if you’re working something with your hands, then you know now time’s safe. If you’re not working something with your hands, you might lose your grip and you might just slip away and you get lost in memory time and it’s really scary there for some people. I’m not too scared, but just a little bit bothered.
Oh, I got it - yes! Oh, that did not work. I’m going to make the coolest bow and I can...ugh. I almost got it.
[Background noise]
I cannot find no rocks to make an arrow if everything is...ugh...if everything’s buried in the snow, but that’s a pretty good bow I got here. Let’s go see if we can find an arrow stick for I can find a rock later.
[Background noise of walking in the snow]
Oh man, that is a safety hazard. There’s a big, old branch about to fall on my head. I got to...ugh.
[Background noise of walking in the snow]
Yes!
[Background noise of walking in the snow]
Almost got it! I’m going to get it.
[Background noise of walking in the snow and moving branches]
Ugh! I just saved somebody’s life, you guys. This is a big, old stick. It’s a whole branch. I got a branch. If I was playing Walden, this right here would be some good firewood. I got to find a hiding spot for it, because I don’t got no place to make a fire right now. So, I’ll get in trouble if I did, but if we have a fire emergency, then I got some firewood ready.
[Background noise of walking in the snow]
[Background noise of a dog barking]
Hi! That was a big, old dog. I’m not afraid of him. He’s my friend. His name is Buddy like my name should be Buddy. [Chuckles]
Okay, my name’s not Buddy. I’m just saying that. You know what I mean.
[Background noise of walking in the snow]
I’m hiding it. If I hide it back here, no one will steal my firewood and if I need emergency firewood, I know where it is.
[Background noise of walking in the snow]
I better keep on walking. I’m just talking and not walking. That don’t do nobody no good.
[Background noise of walking in the snow]
[Background noise of birds chirping]
I’m going to lay down in the snow for a minute.
[Background noise of a train whistle]
If I can do it right, because I want to watch them clouds. It feels really good outside except for the snow and the ice. Except I like the snow. I like the snow if I can go to therapy. I don’t like the snow if I can’t go to therapy, but I got The Husband’s coat. I can lay on it like a snow angel. Except there’s so much ice, I cannot make no snow angels, but I can lay on it. And watch them clouds and that feels pretty good.
We don’t have no body pains if you just lay in the sun and watch the clouds.
[Background noise of birds chirping]
Oh, I saw a bird finally! Hi!
[Background noise of bird chirping]
Hi!
[Background noise of a bird chirping]
Hi!
[Background noise of a bird chirping]
Hi! [Laughs]
[Background noise of a bird chirping]
It’s just talking to me. Hi!
[Background noise of a bird chirping]
[Laughs]
Sometimes at therapy, we can talk about hard things. Sometimes at therapy, we can play football and just rest for a minute. Sometimes I can just be glad to see her and it’s okay if we’re sharing or taking turns. But, we’re talking about some hard things now.
Because if you have a buddy and if you know now time is safe and if you know now time is different, then you just start talking about some things. Maybe that’s part three. Maybe therapy has three parts. So, part one is now time is safe, part two is now time is different and then part three is talking time is safe. Because in memory time, it’s not okay to talk about things and now time, it is okay to talk about things.
You know what I need to talk about? I can tell you what I need to talk about. I need to talk about Cassi. Cassi did some things that I got mad at her about for a long time, because she did not help keep us safe. But when she told the therapist yesterday, the therapist said she was...I don’t know how to say it. Hey, what were them words? Like she was normal, because it’s developmental appropriate.
Member she said...the therapist said about babies? That babies can’t take care of themselves, but you can’t get mad at baby for can’t take care of itself. Parents got to help take care of a baby, like and take care of the outside kids. But then...so she said that Cassi don’t know better. And I believe the therapist and I know Cassi don’t know better, but I also know that they got hurt ‘cause of her and all them Taylor’s stuff. And Cassi just kept going back and going back and we kept getting away and she just kept going back, and it caused us all kinds of problems and hurts. And it was scary and lots of things happened for ‘cause she kept going back.
And so we been mad at her for her and the Taylor’s, but I can be mad if I want. My therapist said I can have my feelings. I have feelings. That’s my feelings, that I was a little flustered feathered with her. I flustered my feathers. She flustered my feathers. She feathered my fluster. She, well, she just...that was messed up what she did, and well, except I know she’s learning about it and if she’s talking about it, I know that’s a big deal. And I can say, “I’m proud of you and you can have a badge even though I was mad at you.”
Except I get a badge for giving her a badge. But I’m not trying to throw a baby fit. I’m just saying that what happened was not okay, because that was not the parents do it to us, that was her do it to us. So, that made me extra mad.
Like the therapist said, I heard therapist tell the sister, it’s double bad for when the brother mean to you, because you tried to take care of him. And that’s a true story. The therapist, she knows what she’s talking about. So, I’m double mad at Cassi, because we got hurt and because she let us get hurt and that’s not doing her job. I know it was a long time ago, but if she wants to talk about it, that’s what I have to say about it.
Except well, she wrote in the notebook and you know what she said? She said she was sorry. And I think she means it. And I told her that that’s okay. She can be sorry, but she needs to talk to the therapist about it, because I don’t want it to happen no more. Except now it can’t happen’ cause everybody’s dead - not me. I’m not dead. I’m going to run a race. I’m going to run a race.
I’m going to run a race and my race is called 5k and we’re going to run races this year ‘cause we’re not going to die. We’re going to run instead of dying. And our race is called 5k and that means you get five cups of chocolate milk I think is what it means.
This feels pretty good out here in the sunshine, under the clouds, and I did hear birds and I can hear birds and I can feel better. I don’t need no body pains. If you have body pains, you can just dig into the snow and feel how cold it is. I just got four days to see my therapist. Somebody can have a turn maybe.
I think I’m going to fall asleep. I didn’t even play snow soccer, not with a team, just by myself, but I won.
I don’t want to be mad at Kassi no more. I’m not very good at being mad, but I want her to think I’m mad, but not really, because I don’t want to make her mad. I just think nobody should be mad.
You know what in memory time, being mad is not a safe thing and other people being mad is not a safe thing? I don’t know about now time. We can ask the therapist.
My therapist is safe as a blanket. If I just got to go tell some things, she’s not mad at me. She might get tired of listening to me, but she’s not mad at me. That’s why you got to take turns and share, because just if one person just talking, you get tired of listening to them. Like if you got kids and just one kid is talking all the time, then you don’t get to hear the other kids. So, it’s like that. You got to take turns and everybody share.
The Husband...he told them kids, the outside kids, that it’s like a soccer game. That if you’re having a conversation, everybody’s on the team and kicking the ball back and forth. But if only just one person take over and talk, then they are like stealing the ball while everybody else is waiting to play.
So, when you’re in therapy, you got to take turns and everybody inside gets to talk to the therapist. You can’t just steal the ball. You can’t just go off and play by yourself. You got to take turns and share so everybody can play.
Woah, there’s an airplane. Oh man! I forgot to tell the therapist we almost went to Africa. I forgot to tell her. There’s so many things to tell her, I just get all full up. I wish I was on that airplane. I sure do like being on an airplane. Them girls do not like being on an airplane, but I like being on an airplane.
I’m glad we’re not going to see that lady today. That was getting them all kinds of worked up, and we don’t need to be worked up.
Things on the list to do today, do not get a whoopin, do not get a switch, do not get worked up, do not get body pains. If I know what the therapist is talking about body pains, I think that’s little Katie. She take all the body pains. I got to tell the therapist about that. Like if we can feel it, that’s why Katie got to draw them out or paint. Except sometimes we like to paint too, but we’re not as good as Katie is. I’m not very good. I like Play-Doh. I like clay. I also like salsa, but if it’s cold, it’s kind of a cold day for salsa.
Man, I like these clouds. I wish you all could see. It’s just beautiful as anything ever was. I like being outside. I feel better when I’m outside, except my bottom is starting to get cold. Laying in the snow might not be the smartest thing I ever did.
[Background noise of a train whistle]
Woah! What is that? I think I hear a train. Man, these new ears are working. I can hear birds and I can hear trains.
I got to tell you one more thing that I didn’t tell nobody. Today is her birthday. We don’t really like our birthday and everybody’s dead so nobody even thinks about it being our birthday. And I don’t get no presents.
We been paying off the hospital and that means if the baby is sick and in the hospital for three years, then you got to pay the hospital to keep the baby alive and so we been having a lot of careful of our money for a long time. So, The Husband and Emma, they don’t get presents for nothing. So, that means I don’t get no presents for nothing, but I don’t get no presents anyway. I don’t need a present, but that lady at church, she said you got to do something. Didn’t you have birthdays when you were a kid? Like balloons or you got to take treats to school or you got to do this or do that and I just wish she would stop talking, because she don’t know what she’s talking about. I don’t get no birthdays. Only birthday ones are bad ones where the Taylor’s for so we can die, except we didn’t die and now I’m just here and I still got to have a birthday and I don’t even want to talk about birthdays.
That’s okay, because those kids, our kids, they don’t remember no birthdays.
[Background noise of a train whistle]
Oh, I heard a train. But, you know what presents I did get? I got a present from the therapist. I got a present from the therapist for Christmas. That’s my present at Christmas and for my birthday, I got a present too. Because, that’s what I was going to tell you. Guess what I got for the birthdays? We got more notebooks. So, we can do some writing, because kassi need to apologize to me. That’s why.
So, she apologized to me, but I got new notebooks and it was the best birthday present I ever had. Because if someone gives you a birthday present for notebooks, you know what that means? That means you’re my buddy and it means I listen to you and I care about what you got to say and I’m sorry that happened. And you know what the therapist said yesterday? She said if she knew about what had happened to us, she would get in there and stop it, because it should have been stopped. Noone ever in my whole life ever said that to me, that it should have been stopped.
Like, that’s enough therapy for me right there just feeling better about someone finally said that. Because I’m not crazy none of this should have happened. I was right all along. This should not happen and it should stop. So, that’s the best birthday I ever had - someone say that’s not okay that happened to you and I’m sorry that happened to you and that’s going to stop happening to you. That’s the best birthday of my whole life. Maybe I could tell her about birthdays. Maybe I could write in my new notebook about birthdays. Maybe that would be important work to do.
I’m supposed to be walking. I got permission for walking for so we can be healthy and strong and I can go on a race and all I’m doing is laying in the snow talking like a big, old lazy bum. I think I just go to sleep here and be just fine. It feels pretty good to be outside.
If we didn’t have those kids and we didn’t have that husband, I’d just play Walden and I’d open the windows for some fresh air. That’s what it feels like - fresh air, therapy.
The therapist asked, she said, “How do you know therapy’s helping?” Well, it’s feeling better. We got some fresh air up in here, that’s what I think it is - not just like in the attic, but everywhere. Even if we don’t got everything figured out yet, we got some fresh air I think.
That fresh air do us some good. You know what Molly’s doing? She’s cleaning everything up. She got all them cobwebs out of the attic and we’re all getting to paint. Everybody can pick what they want to paint their own walls with color and everybody gets a bed. The therapist said that everybody can have a bed and I just want a cool bed. And I got a hammock. That's what I got for my bed. I just want a hammock and you know what?
Also, she said that...oh, my shoulder just popped. I told my therapist about that yesterday. It’s from hanging, but oh man, that hurt when it popped. But Molly told me about what she’s doing is cleaning everything up and we got what we need and she told me all of the cobwebs are gone and I said, “I don’t know how you got rid of all them cobwebs. And Molly said, “We can clean up and everything is safe.” And know what else she said? She said, “There’s no bed bugs. There’s no rats. There’s no roaches. There’s no nothing.”
And we can get a bathroom. Nobody has to go to the bathroom on themselves or in the corner. And I’m not trying to be embarrassing. I’m just saying, you don’t want to get locked up in a room for a long time or in a box or something in the chest. And so we got a bathroom and there’s no rats.
And I said, “How do you know there’s no rats or no bed bugs eating me?” She said, “All them are gone.” She clean it up and it’s all gone and I can have a special light. And she gave me a light and I can look everywhere and make sure. And there’s nothing. And she said I can build some machines or traps and make sure there’s no bed bugs or there’s no roaches or there’s no bugs or spiders or rats going to eat on my toes. I hate when them rats eat on my toes or my fingers. I try. MK can try and make friends with them, but I’m not very good at making friends with rats, because they keep biting my toes and I don’t like it and it hurts me. And they crawl all over me and when I’m trying to sleep on the floor, but now I go a hammock and nothing can crawl on me. So, that’s pretty good fresh air I think - all cleaned up in there.
And I check everything and I check my traps and there’s nothing in there. It’s just all fixed up. Molly’s fixing everything. There’s lights on and we got a lot of fresh air up in there and that’s pretty good. That’s pretty good, I think.
Well, I got a lot of things to talk about. I really got to make it ‘til Monday for see my therapist, because I’m just laying here in the snow and I think if you’re going to run some races, here’s what you need to know. You cannot win, even any chocolate milk, if you just stop in your race and lay down and take a nap part way. I don’t think that’s how you win a race if you take a nap in the middle of it. But if I say, “Oh, I’m tired. I’m just going to sit down and take a nap” I’m not going to win my race.
I don’t want no one take my picture. We do not like our picture taken, because of the studio downstairs, but I don’t want to talk about that. I just don’t want my picture at the race. So, even if I’m the fastest one in the world, we don’t want to be first, because we don’t want our picture taken. So, we have to only pick the races where they will not take our picture. Sometimes they try to take your picture, but if you are not first, you still get chocolate milk. So, I want some chocolate milk. But if you lay down in the race and take a nap while you’re racing, I don’t think they give you chocolate milk. So, I didn’t do very good today, because I just lay here and look at the clouds which is not the same thing as racing.
I can’t even bang through this snow. There’s so much ice in it. It better not snow again, because I really got to see the therapist. It’s hard waiting. But also, waiting for therapy between times you get to see her is kind of a good thing, because you don’t want to just see her so much all the time that you throw up on her or nothing. That just be unpleasant for everybody. We spent weeks and weeks and weeks worrying about whether we could see her or not while we were seeing her and talking about that instead of talking about stuff.
So, I think all this fresh air up in here, everybody need to just settle down and just start talking instead of talking about talking. I think everything’s okay and everything’s all safe and now time is safe and we like her and she’s helping us so she’s doing a good job. And she can have a badge and we can have a badge and everybody can just get back to work.
Yeah. Yeah. Oh.
Oh, all this stuff at Christmas really mess us up I think. But, it’s over and now it’s not Christmas. Which means all of the stuff that happened at Christmas is memory time. It’s memory time! It’s not now time. Oh man, now I’m stinking smart. I’m going to tell everybody. I’m going to put that in the paper. Everybody can just know - everything that happened at Christmas, all of that stuff and all of those hard days and the snow days and not get see her, all that’s memory time. That’s not now time. Now time is, I got to see her yesterday and I’ll get to see her again Monday and we can talk all we want. Ba-bam! I solved the problem. I get a big, old check mark and a badge.
[Background noise of walking in snow]
I got to tell the therapist. Well, I can try really hard to hold it inside and I can write it in the notebook, but I think I solved the problem. And I am so excited. I really want to tell her so bad. But, I don’t need to tell her, because it’s okay so I won’t bother her. But, I got to put it in the notebook, because I think I solved the problem. All of this learning about the therapist - that’s all memory time.
It was either other therapists who were not good therapists or it’s everything that happened at Christmas or it’s snow days when we couldn’t get there, but all of that is memory time. Do you get it? I get it! It’s memory time. It’s not now time. Now time is fine. I can talk to the therapy. I can talk to her on podcast. I can write in the notebooks. I can draw a picture. I can send a message. I can talk to her any way I want. Everything’s okay, because now time is different.
Oh my goodness, I’m so stinking smart.
[Background noise of running in the snow]
I got to get to the notebook.
[Background noise of running in the snow]
I wrote it all down so the therapist will know and I’m very excited and now because I am so stinking smart and figure this out, we’re going to have a party and we’re going to celebrate, because the therapist told The Husband when The Husband went with us to therapy, that I can be a DJ and so I been practicing. And now you get to hear some of my DJ music.
[Approximately three minutes of DJing to various songs and sound effects]
[Break]
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