NOW TIME IS SAFE / LITTLES

John(Mark), one of our older littles, tries to do his own podcast! He shares about walking in the snow and some of his favorite snacks. He also explains NTIS, which stands for “Now Time Is Safe”. Thanksgiving dinner and a Christmas tree are referenced, but there is no other or any specific holiday discussion. No abuse details given.

John(Mark) braves walking through the leaves at the park. He shares what he learning from therapy and the husband, about feeling better when your needs are met. He also shares the struggle of long periods of time between sessions, especially the holiday season. The holiday season is referenced in general in the context of our therapist being off for a couple weeks, and he states that the holidays are difficult anyway besides this. He does not expound upon this, nor share any details of why it is difficult. No abuse content or memories are described in this episode.

Sasha follows Dr. E’s last episode by explaining her perspective of littles and age in DID. She shares about time perception, gives examples of littles adjusting to presenting through an older body, and normalizes the beyond-age awareness through neutral non-DID examples. She explains about how our system manages time out front for Littles, and some of the important things we learn from them. No abuse examples or specifics are given in this episode.

The boys go on a walk in the snow, and talk about all sorts of things (with a quick appearance by Sarah). They share about some past adventures and open up about some internal dynamics. They also review Now Time is Safe. He also shares what he learned in therapy about body memories. There are some specific triggers discussed, such as when he finds a switch stick and talks about the therapist reassuring them there are no more whoopings. He shares about the difference between memory time (getting hurt) and now time (the parents are dead). They also talk about palliative care for the outside child, and struggling to connect with that care team because we already have a therapist. They talk about what they learned in therapy yesterday, about babies needing good, safe parents to care for them and the children shouldn’t be punished for needing care. They share about the Girl being confined, and the therapist helping her and how children should not be hurt. They talk about the impact of returning to your abusers, and how callbacks were hard on others inside. They tell how the therapist told Kassi she was “developmentally appropriate” for working out relationships when she was young, and it’s normal that she would struggle when no one taught her how to do it safely. He talks about Kassi’s apology, and how the Littles now have to respond to her while she works on these issues with Taylor and in therapy. They also talk about birthdays, and just a little about why those are hard. He shares an update on the attic progress of improved living conditions, including being without bugs or rodents and having bathrooms and beds. He also shares about preferring not to have our picture taken. This episode has a heavy trigger warning for sensitive issues and abuse references, as they process therapy yesterday, but no explicit or detailed descriptions are given or discussed in depth. They close with a special musical surprise from JohnMark.

John(Mark) is back, with Sarah, to talk about how hard talking at therapy can be. They talk about feeling things from others inside, even when safe with the therapist. They also share the difficulty of how hard therapy can be, and how much harder it gets to function when therapy issues feel big. They share three things we are learning from the therapist: now time is safe, memory time doesn’t change now time, and you can stay in now time while talking about memory time. They also share the newest lesson from our therapist: that the secrets aren’t ours, so we don’t have to keep them. They do mention Easter eggs in passing as a reference, and a gun in reference to a toy only in passing, but no holiday or specific memories are discussed at all. They close the episode by telling an April Fool’s prank on the husband.

JohnMark, with Sarah close, shares about enjoying the park after therapy. They share more about NTIS, and how it means the hard things are in the past in memory time and talking about memory time doesn’t change that now time is safe. They also share about learning that we are brave and strong, even though we were hurt - that it wasn’t our fault and we did our best trying to get away. They talk about how working together means acknowledging the role others also have in keeping the system safe, and how it also means sharing time with the therapist and taking turns. They share what they are learning about touching - not just good touch / bad touch, but also about safe touch / unwanted touch. No specific memories are shared in this episode.

Emma shares about her therapy session, in which she learned about how now time triggers memory time. She shares what she learned about how this happens through sensory input. Trigger warning for trigger talk, acknowledgment of abuse, and examples of triggers from the therapist’s office (door slamming and footsteps in the hall). These are discussed without any abuse details or disclosures.

We start to answer emails, but someone writes in about Littles. We share our experience of this, and talk about what we did to find a good therapist for us. We share examples of Littles engaging safely, as well as times we feel protective of them.

WE GOT A PUPPY!!

We share our therapy discussion about how while useful at the beginning of therapy, NTIS or Now Time is NOT Safe is actually too binary for later in therapy. We settle on SET, or “safe enough time”, to give room for the nuances and variety of circumstances and experiences in life.

Tell you bout my trip.