Podcast 6

AWARDS

Lost Episode

The husband and the outside kids join us by the campfire, after cooking foil dinners and having s’mores, and we reflect on 2020. Trigger warning for voices of children and a closing song.

We share about the TPA Award and read emails from listeners.

Lost Episode

We share an episode of ASMR (autonomous sensory meridian response) sounds from our front yard in the morning. You can hear the interstate several miles away, the morning birds, and the chickens starting to move around the yard. Other than an introduction to the episode, there is no further talking on this episode. Many people use ASMR videos or sounds for grounding and coping skills, and we wanted to offer an option for support. Simply skip this episode if not helpful for you, or if it is triggering.

Courtney shares about getting a new therapist, again, and agrees she may be a match this time. We share about our safety plan, including twice a week sessions and learning to ask for help. With some tapping and EMDR, she is able to consider letting the others back if our safety increases and the system can stabilize... and begins to understand they need to be included for that stabilization to happen.

Please note the heavy trigger warning for this episode. We share about a hospitalization, with reference to suicide. We share some (young adult) memories, with reference to domestic violence. We talk about missing the other alters from the other circle, and why we can’t bridge to them right now. We talk about starting over with a new therapist, again.

Our guest this week is Jamie Pollack, the founder of An Infinite Mind. She shares her story and the story of how the annual conference for people with DID got started. We talk about the coming out process with DID, and what it’s like to have friends who know about DID and what it’s like to have other friends with DID. She shares the conference will be virtual next year because of the pandemic, but will still happen the last weekend of January. Trigger warning for reference to media portrayals of plurals as killers and mention of threats from hate groups - neither issue is discussed in detail, only in passing.

Our friend comes on the podcast to debate toxic positivity. We process some of the experiences of 2020. We explore what we have learned about friendship, and share what it’s been like to learn to tolerate feelings. Trigger warning for reference to suicidality, but no specifics or discussion about it.

Our friend comes on the podcast to debate toxic positivity. We process some of the experiences of 2020. We explore what we have learned about friendship, and share what it’s been like to learn to tolerate feelings. Trigger warning for reference to suicidality, but no specifics or discussion about it.

We share what we discussed in therapy, about processing election week experiences. We talk about realizing we can’t avoid pain, because someone always has to deal with it or handle it. We talk about learning how there’s a world beyond trauma, like the perspectives of different dimensions. We give the geometry of those, and explain why it matters that we connect with others - even though it is scary. Trigger warnings for mention of guns, reference to a house fire, discussion of flashbacks, and math.

Our guest is Teri Pokrajac, PsyD, who shares about her research into dissociation, and the differences in how it shows up in people with dissociative disorders and how it shows up in people with a borderline personality diagnosis. We discuss shame, and explore why it’s so hard to shake off and how we can’t just think our way out of it. She explains why connecting when we need it most is so very hard. We talk about the impact of this in the context of the ongoing pandemic and increased isolation because of quarantine. Trigger warning for mention of rape and sexual abuse, but only in passing reference with no details or discussion.

We try hard to put into words what’s been so hard this year.

We talk about what we experienced and learned in 2020. Trigger warning for mentions of pandemic and quarantine and politics, but only in passing context.

Our guest, Annie Goldsmith, is a registered dietician who works with trauma, and she explains how dissociation and digestion are connected. She explains why building safety and going very slowly is so important in bringing healing to both. She explains disordered eating and intentional eating. We discuss eating in the context of food scarcity and the pandemic. Trigger warning for discussion of disordered eating, eating disorders, weight stigma, and food-related traumas (with one example given).

We speak with our guest Vivian Conan, author of “Losing the Atmosphere”, her memoir about Multiple Personality Disorder. She shares about her misdiagnosis, a punitive therapist, and what it was like figuring out what was going on and getting an accurate diagnosis. She shares about the decision to share her story, and what the writing process was like for her.

We share what we learned from the recent ISSTD Virtual Conference on the Impact of Societal Trauma on Marginalized Communities. We share about the different topics and speakers and what we experienced. We share what Ellen K. Jepsen, PhD, from Norway taught about tolerating positive feelings. We introduce other speakers for marginalized populations that will be coming on the podcast in future episodes. We share about the critical understanding about relational trauma and shame, and how that broadens our understanding of trauma. Reference only in topic listing to child trafficking and to racial trauma, but no details or discussion.

We share what we learned and experiences in recent ISSTD conferences. We open with the regional conference held in Kentucky with Robert Muller, who presented about slowing down therapy and how grounding is meant for dysregulation (not safety issues in therapy or the therapeutic relationship). We explore the meaning of plurality and our own struggle with identity. We share what we learned about the incongruence between the external and internal experience of the same events and interactions. We also learned about how we sometimes get “stuck” because our prefrontal cortex goes offline, and why we have to stay within the Window of Tolerance to stay engaged. We also share our experience starting EMDR class in the ISSTD program.

Lost Episode

We try to find words over the weekend, in dealing with the overwhelm of politics and holidays and marking the one year anniversary since seeing The Therapist. We try to explain about the others being gone, and what’s happened about changing hosts. We explain how recent trends of toxic positivity is forced dissociation, which is different than natural dissociation, and how it adds to the trauma of everything else 2020. We share what we are learning about how the structural dissociation model doesn’t actually apply to multiplicity - which we will be discussing further in upcoming months.

David Archer is our guest, and he shares about prejudices, privilege, racism, racial trauma, white supremacy, and how healing comes when we love ourselves. Trigger warning for references to racial violence, foster care and adoption, and politics.

Our guest today is Lynn Crook, who was herself a clinician discovering her own traumatic past. She was one of the first to sue her parents for abuse suffered as a child, and won her case just as the Memory Wars began in the 90’s. She shares her experience with us, and tells the story of debunking the “Lost in the Mall” study often used in legal cases and the media by “experts” against recovered memories. Trigger warning for references to child molesters and child abuse.

Emails!

Lost Episode

We share what we are learning about Betrayal Trauma.  We explain it, but focus on understanding how different parts of us have different responses to the same experience - such as leaving The Therapist a year ago.  We also share how understanding both of these pieces helps us as we begin Phase II work.  Trigger warning for reference to suicide attempt, but only in passing.

We have come up with new “rules” to help us remember what we have learned over the past year.  New phase of therapy.  New rules for life.  New us.