Podcast 5

AWARDS

We process our experience of The English Teacher interview.  Trigger warning for therapist trauma, reference to child abuse, reference in passing to SRA alters.  No details of any of these issues given, only referenced.

We interview Dr. Laura Brown about her journey treating complex trauma. She shares about the history of believing women’s stories when others did not. She also explains why she does not use “disorder” with dissociative identities. She also shares her experience with keeping a therapy dog in her office. Trigger warning for mention of trauma cases and a variety of abuses, but no in depth discussion of specifics and no details disclosed.

We close our conversation with The English Teacher with more timeline and processing.  We talk about how parenting can trigger developmental trauma memories, but also how our past can help us be better parents.  She also explains about her experience in a Christian “cult” and what that was like realizing she wanted out.  We also talk some about switching, and how the last year impacted different parts’ access to safe people. We introduce the concept of Betrayal Trauma.  Trigger warning for mention of abuse, trafficking, pornography, adoption, rape, and developmental trauma.  

The conversation with The English Teacher continues, as she shares what it was like being groomed by a therapist for a relationship outside of therapy. We also discuss our transition away from The Therapist over the last year. We also discuss friendship issues, and what is healthy and what is toxic. Trigger warning for mention of abuse and grooming. There is also a “cult” reference about a church, but in context of stopping the cycle (no details or any SRA or MC references, only the evangelical reference).

Our interview with The English Teacher, about our timeline and putting pieces together. Trigger warning for references to abuse, therapist trauma, and church school experiences. No detailed disclosures specifically, but trauma timeline discussed and experiences referenced (including abuse and rape).

We explain the story of one of our only two lifelong friends, who was witness to some of our experiences. We tell the husband about our experience interviewing her for therapy and maybe the podcast. Trigger warning for references to abuse and trauma from parents, teachers, and youth ministers, but no specific disclosures or details are made. Also passing reference to mother’s suicide attempt, but only in a sentence and zero details or discussion.

Listener emails!

Our guest is Veronique Mead, MD, MA, who shares about trauma and chronic illnesses. She explains about the ACEs and their impact. She describes the epigenetic effect of trauma. She shares how understanding these patterns opens up places for non-judgment and even compassion for ourselves and others. Trigger warning for abuse mentioned and referenced, but no details or disclosures. Links reference are included on the blog.

Listener Emails.

The husband helps us catch up the podcast. We talk about trying to find a new therapist, moving to the country because of the pandemic, and little T traumas and parenting. We talk about grief. He shares about Depression and medication management. Trigger warning for mention of spider in just the first five minutes of the episode.

Our guest today is clinical psychologist Ken Benau. He explains “relational trauma”, and why most people are not even aware of this trauma. He talks about shame and “pro-being pride”, and how they are conscious or not, and what makes each maladaptive or adaptive.

We share about finding our new therapist, and try to find words for the experience of a new collective experience of Self. Trigger warning for reference to an Old Testament verse, but only in passing. Trigger warning also for reference to suicide, but no details or in depth discussion. No memories disclosed or discussed.

We interview Holly, a survivor with DID, about her journey in treatment, from diagnosis to pandemic. Trigger warning for reference to sexual abuse and also to hospitalization, but neither discussed in depth. No abuse details disclosed in this episode.

We discuss attachment with Dr. Linington from London, and explore the impact of caring styles on development and relational trauma. He explains different attachment styles, and what that process looks like in the interactions between the parent and child. He explains these Circles of Security, and also teaches us about Tetragrams.

I am looking for clues. Trigger warning fireworks.

We conclude our discussion about relational trauma by exploring what that looks like and how it applies to healing, parenting, relationships, and friendships.  We explain how this expands the understanding of memory time, and the process by which it invades now time. This is different than incident specific trauma, and explains why grounding or content work isn’t enough for healing and orienting.

We continue our discussion about our experiences at the ISSTD virtual conference.  Our medical doctor friend shares what she learned about addiction, emotions, and the drama triangle - and how all of that works to help internal teamwork (even persecutors).  We also share the big research we learned about relational trauma being more damaging than even physical or sexual abuse.  No details or examples of specific abuses discussed.

We interview a friend who is a medical doctor who previously had not studied trauma, but attended the ISSTD virtual conference with us.  She shares what this experience was like for her, what she learned, and how it has changed her practice with patients.

We welcome back Christine Forner, to share after the virtual ISSTD conference.  She talks about the “Cascade of Defense”.  She explains Active and Inactive Defenses.  She gives feminist context to survivor experiences and treatment.

We share session summaries from the ISSTD virtual conference.  (Previous episodes reflected on full day sessions.)

Summary from ISSTD Conference session on attachment, suicidality, and dissociation.  Trigger warning for reference to suicidality, but it is in no way discussed in content or any detail.  Trigger warning also for in depth discussion and non-detailed examples of relational trauma.  No abuse disclosures made in this episode.

I tell you a (true) story.  Trigger warning for mention of abuse and abuse dynamics, but examples only referenced in passing.  No in depth discussion or detailed disclosures.  Trigger warning also for mention of God.

We share our experience of the virtual ISSTD conference, discussing the first day of training in session with Mary Anne Kate and Christine Forner.

We read emails and answer questions.  We also give an update of our pandemic experience, as well as share about the protests and riots happening nearby.  Trigger warning for mention of holidays, but only in reference to alters getting presents.

Lost Episode

Our guest is Fran Waters, who specializes in treating children with dissociation.   She shares about how she got involved in treating trauma and dissociation, and how she explains dissociation to both parents and children.  There is a trigger warning for use of case examples that reference child abuse and different kinds of abuse, though none are discussed at length.

We read lister emails.  Trigger warning for reference to suicide, but no discussion in depth or in any detail.

Lost Episode

We chat with three other systems about what therapy has been like during the pandemic.  Trigger warning for reference to video and mask and confinement triggers, but these are not discussed in depth or detail.

After some time off to focus on the family, I share about some restructuring and the struggle with isolation and trust. Trigger warning for reference to pandemic, natural disasters, death, and suicide (none of these issues discussed at length or in detail, only referenced in passing context).

Our guest this week is Richard Schwartz, PhD, who developed the treatment model of Internal Family Systems.  He explains that everyone is born “Multiple” and that “all parts are good”.  He gives the history of developing the model and examples of how it works.  Trigger warning for doorbell alert in background noise we were unable to edit out.  There is also reference to working with a suicidal part, without any graphic details.

We share about reading chapters two and three in “Trauma and Recovery”. We give examples of hyperarousal, intrusions, and constriction. We try to apply it to our own healing, including relationships. Trigger warning for flashback reference, but no trauma details disclosed.

Dr. E shares about a book she discovered through a class with the ISSTD.  She explores what she has learned about Charcot, Janet, and Freud.  She gives the historical context of their rivalry, and how that later connected to research with veterans who had endured combat.  She tells how the book explains the women’s movement as the catalyst in connecting the two, so that trauma could finally be openly discussed - much less treated.  Trigger warning for mention of abuse, incest, and war experiences, but no disclosures or details given.

Lost Episode

We talk with The Husband and the children about our experience with the pandemic as a family.  We talk about what we have learned and what has been hard.  The outside children share some of their feelings and which coping skills they like best.  Trigger warning for outside children voices and singing.

We talk with Peter Barach, PhD, about our clinical experiences of the transition to telehealth because of COVID.  He shares about the importance of eye contact in stopping flashbacks.  We share about trying to cope with quarantine as a new trauma without creating a new alter.  We discuss trauma triggers experienced in quarantine, including physiological responses on the PolyVagal ladder.  Examples given include reference to war zones, entrapment, and foster care. Dr. Barach reviews several basic coping skills and  relaxation techniques.  We talk about resources like EMDR apps and interventions that support people while we wait for in person sessions resume.

Now that the coronavirus has officially been declared a pandemic, Dr. E has written a now widely-shared article applying the PolyVagal Theory to the experience of quarantine.  We read this article.  Then we share a third video from the therapist about what is happening in our bodies and how to stay grounded while enduring the pandemic.

We share an update on how we are doing in quarantine, as well as our adjustment to working with the new therapist.  We also share the audio from two videos from The Therapist in Oklahoma (with permission).  Both of these address the impact of Coronavirus on mental health.

We share about getting a new therapist, again.  We give quarantine updates.  In sharing an update about our daughter, we connect the related trigger from when the mother was killed.  We also discuss internalized shame and stigma about trauma and dissociation, as well as working that out in a way to help us not create new alters and/or how things shift as alters join together with increasing co-consciousness.  Trigger warning for mention of the mother’s car accident and also reference to integration, but only in context of discussion.  No disclosures or graphic details are given.

Dr. E shares about an all day seminar she attended on Accelerated Experiential Dynamic Psychotherapy. She explains its emphasis on the therapeutic relationship. She discusses “core emotions” and “defenses”, as well as what got triggered for us internally during the training.