Podcast 7

AWARDS

We read and respond to listener emails.

Our guest this week is Richard P. Kluft, MD, one of the first and most extensively published research clinicians of dissociative disorders. He tells the story of dissociation treatment, giving the history of how he stumbled into it himself, his friendship with Cornelia Wilbur, and the shifts in treatment over the decades. He reflects on newer treatment tools and when they are beneficial and why sometimes they are not.

We practice finding words for big feelings. We practice challenging thoughts. We practice responding to those thoughts and feelings by tending to ourselves. To do this, we practice the coping skill of using our brain and body at the same time by singing a song out loud. Trigger warning for big feelings, and the song has a passing reference to God (but is not a church song nor is there any discussion of it).

Our guest is Elizabeth Power, who shares her story of dissociation in response to medical trauma (sans perpetrator), and how she has used her experiences to help others. We discuss shame, honoring hard feelings, and the authenticity of doing depth work to acknowledge pain and stay present with it so that it can be tended to and cared for well. We talk about boundaries, betrayals, and how owning our big feelings gives us the power to choose our responses.

We read and respond to listener emails.

Lost Episode

We talk with our youngest child, who asked to take a turn all by herself on the podcast. She shares some of her story of medical trauma. She reads one of her books and chooses a song to share. Trigger warning for child’s voice, medical trauma, and discussion of impact of infant hospitalization.

Lost Episode

Dr. Jamie Marich shares her experience of being a professional with lived experience of a dissociative disorder. She shares what her professional coming out process was like with EMDRIA, and how she has used her own experiences to help others. She gives her experience of the phenomenological model, and how lived experience cannot be measured quantitatively. We then discuss her dancing mindfulness as shared at the Healing Together conference.

We share our experience of the 2021 (virtual) Healing Together conference by An Infinite Mind. General trigger warning for difficult topics as covered by the conference.

Lost Episode

We share our own journey of our experience getting vaccinated and the few days after, for those who have been emailing about anxiety regarding trauma triggers in trying to get vaccinated. This is not a podcast about whether you should or not, nor to counter reasons why or why not. This episode is in response to emails from those who want to get vaccinated but who have some alters anxious or scared to do so because of triggers.

Our guest this week is Mary-Anne Kate, PhD, from Australia. She shares her research into Dissociation. She explains how she educates about and advocates for a broader understanding of Dissociation. She explains her research comparing the fantasy and trauma models. Trigger warning for reference to different types of abuse, but only in context of categorizing for research - no case studies, disclosures, or examples are discussed.

Lost Episode

We speak with our colleague, Michele Jowett, who also has come out professionally about her DID. We share stories about traumatic educational experiences, and risks of coming out. We discuss why we have chosen to do so anyway, and how we hope it will help. We reflect on therapy experiences and why the voice of lived experience matters. Trigger warning for references to abusers and therapeutic struggles.

Lost Episode

We chat with the husband about releasing our new memoir, “if tears were prayers”, now available on www.SystemSpeakPodcast.com (international orders accepted). The husband shares how reading the book helped him better understand the experience of DID. We discuss the difficulty of triggers in writing a DID memoir, and ask readers to care for themselves during and after reading the book. We share some about our writing process, and the framework perspective we took in in the layout of our story. We also process our feelings about the decision to release the book - and the growth in accepting our diagnosis and our progress since.

We share about the anniversary of the deaths of our parents, and about receiving the news our therapist has died of COVID.

We review a piece of what John O’Neil discussed on the previous podcast. We recap what we learned last year about how containment works to help regulate our big feelings. We talk about communicating our needs and preferences directly and intentionally. We share about the impact of our Deafness socially. We talk about how we get to keep all our work for therapy and can generalize that progress to other areas of our life as we practice healing.

Dr. John O’Neil, author of “the brick”, shares with us his story of how he began learning about dissociative disorders. He explains the significance of the phenomenological model of dissociation, and how this is different from structural dissociation. He explains about faculty dissociation, depersonalization and derealization, and how these are different from multiplicity.

We read and respond to listener emails.

Lost Episode

We share with the husband about the response to the Iris episode, specifically reading a listener email who cautioned against it. We process our response to her response with the husband, and look at what it triggered in us and why. The husband shares about his depression and how he handles those dark thoughts. Trigger warning for reference to suicidal thoughts, but no discussion of detailed plans or safety concerns.

We share our experience at the dentist, including discussing reasons it’s so triggering. We talk about how our therapist helped us with that with tapping, and how that helped at the dentist. We share our processing of last year, and give updates from therapy.

Our guest is Heather Hall, MD. She shares her experience of treating complex trauma, including differentiating between dissociation and detachment. She also shares about the impact of historical and societal trauma. Trigger warning for case examples and a reference to suicide attempt (but passing reference only, no details or discussion about it).

We read and respond to listener emails.

Lost Episode

Sasha shares the story of waking up this fall, and trying to catch up on our story. She tries putting the pieces together, and shares how she does so. There is an inside meeting about it, where she meets Courtney. They process what has been learned in the last year and discuss new rules for moving forward. Trigger warning for reference to suicide attempts and hospitalizations, but only in passing reference with zero discussion of it.

Lost Episode

We share an episode of ASMR (autonomous sensory meridian response) sounds from our front yard in the morning. You can hear us open the coop to let the chickens out in the morning, hear them fly out to the ground, and hear them excited about breakfast. They play for sometime, making happy morning sounds while they wake and eat and stretch. You can also hear the morning birds in the distance. Other than the introduction, there is no further talking on this episode. Many people use ASMR videos or sounds for grounding and coping skills, and we wanted to offer an option for support. Simply skip this episode if not helpful for you, or if it is triggering.

Lost Episode

The outside children join us today to discuss their experience of witnessing (on television) the insurrection at the Capitol. They process their feelings. We explore history, patterns, and perspectives. The children close with the song, “Love One Another”.

In a candid moment, Dr. E reflects on a conversation with a colleague and his coming out. She shares a quote he sent her, and explores how that applies to DID. She challenges our system to start building bridges.

Lost Episode

The Entropy System shares their story. They introduce System Pride Day, and explain how it is different from DID Awareness Day. She explains the flag that goes with it. We talk about support in the community, the diversity of systems online, and being inclusive of all kinds of systems. We discuss functional multiplicity, and how important relationships are with other survivors.

JohnMark is back, and tries to get oriented after showing up at last year’s therapist office and returning to Kansas before making it back to the house where we live now in Oklahoma. Warnings for feelings of nothing feeling real.

Our guest is Joyanna Silberg, Past President of ISSTD, and expert on dissociation in children and adolescents. She shares with us about her work with children and trauma. She talks about the capacity of dissociation as a gift to yourself! She speaks to the impact of screen time on families, and she also shares about her work with trafficking victims. Trigger warning for short and simple examples of abuse and trafficking in passing (not in depth).