Transcript: Episode 214
214. Guest: Jaime Pollack (An Infinite Mind)
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[Short piano piece is played, lasting about 20 seconds]
*Interview begins*
[Note: Interviewer in bold. Interviewee in standard font]
My name is Jamie Pollack. I am the founder and director of the organization called An Infinite Mind. And we are an organization that's dedicated to education and advocacy for people with dissociative identities.
What was the beginning of An Infinite Mind? Can you tell me that story just a little bit?
Sure, we started An Infinite Mind because, now Infinite Mind is going on 12 years. So you have to imagine what it was like 12 years ago in the dissociative community. It's not what it is now. So there was very limited resources and information available. And I was diagnosed with dissociative identities, which is what motivated me to start the organization. And going through my treatment, I was always looking for positive stories, or an outlet for resources, or a place to connect with other survivors with DID, but there really wasn't anything available anywhere. All that was available back then really was ISSTD, which is a wonderful organization, but they really focused on professionals. And I kind of wanted the same for people with DID as well. So that was already stirring in my mind. And right around the same time as when there was an SUV episode of a person with DID. And of course as the media often does, the person with DID in the episode was a killer.
So one time I was watching an SUV and it was around the same time as I had the idea about the organization. And on this episode--not SUV—SVU. [Laugh] Yes, SVU, one of those crime shows. And the person the main character had DID and it was all what you expect it to be. Like the, she was the killer, and then she was lying, and then they called her all kinds of inappropriate names for people with mental illness. And it was just a hot mess of of inappropriateness in all different areas. And I was really frustrated because I was waiting for something or someone to make a comment on this episode. And at the time the National Organization for Mental Illness, NAMI, they were like, “We don't really do much with DID.” And it was really frustrating for me. And so it was a combination of we clearly need more education about what dissociative disorders are, we clearly need a group that's going to advocate and make sure these kind of things don't happen, and we also need a resource and a place for people to come to where they can talk about these things. And so it kind of was born from that moment.
Take me back to your own diagnosis. You said you were diagnosed with DID. What was that like for you? The process of finding out, realizing something was going on and getting a diagnosis. Only in general, not anything you're uncomfortable sharing.
No, I don't mind sharing. It was it was both terrifying and a relief at the same time because I had been having mental health struggles for a very long time, and I went to various mental health clinicians and they didn't know what DID looked like or what it was. And so I was getting a lot of missed diagnoses. And I didn't know that I had DID. I just knew, they were telling me that I have schizophrenic, schizophrenia or schizoaffective disorder. I mean, I got them all, ADHD, bipolar, borderline. I knew that it didn't sound like what was happening for me. It just didn't align to what I felt was my symptoms and what I was struggling with. And when I finally landed into the right therapist office, who finally figured out that it was a dissociative disorder and then consequently diagnosed with DID, I was relieved because for the first time it made sense. Like all the symptoms, her questions that she was asking me, it all like was, was on target. We were speaking the same language. It made complete sense like I was, oh my gosh, finally someone understands what I'm trying to explain here.
At the same time, when she told me what it was, I was like, wait a minute. I didn't know anything about the social identities at the time. And really my only familiarity with it was Sybil, which is not the greatest example of DID. And I was terrified. I didn't know what that meant for me. I didn't know what that meant for my career. I didn't know what that meant for my personal life. I didn't know. I was convinced, I was sure that I would lose my job. Like the, my, like, I used my insurance. And I was like, my insurance is going to call the school, and the schools gonna tell my principal, and I'm gonna be fired because I'm an educator. And I was like, no one's gonna let me be in the classroom with this. And I was just terrified. I was terrified. So it was this, it was just weird space to be in a being relieved but also scared at the same time.
What was that like being so in the trenches with people? You were functioning well, in those ways, being an educator. And when you saw the SVU episode, even thinking about what organization to contact to make a statement. These different examples show like your tenacity and how hard you were working to function. What was that like for you?
Exhausting. It was exhausting. It really was. The only place in my life I was successful was with work. And I, and I think and that's in part due to having dissociative identity and having DID, you know, because I was able to disconnect from all the trauma that I was escaping. But it was exhausting, because I found that if I just stayed really busy and stayed focus on work, then I was able to kind of stay ahead of and block out of all of the trauma and the PTSD symptoms and all of those typical things that come with being a survivor. So I was exhausted. I mean, I was very successful in my job. I was getting my master's degree at the time. I was working another part time job doing behavioral therapy. So I was, that, I was looking at, you know, to try to find, constantly trying to find any kind of information or resources I can find on dissociative identity so I knew, I had like an idea what the outcome was going to look like for me, if I, you know, continued with the therapy. So it was very overwhelming, very exhausting. But I really had to sit down and make the decision that if I was going to lose my career and all of these things that I perceived it was going to happen—which none of it did, but I perceived that it was—it was worth it to me because I was so not functional at every other aspect of my life. I was not good socially. I was not good emotionally. I couldn't keep a relationship. And I had all those other challenges. And I thought that's more important to me than just being able to keep my career.
And you ended up being able to keep those pieces of your life.
Yes, thankfully, I've been very fortunate. I have not had any negative consequences from going to therapy for DID and/or being as outspoken as I am now about it. I've been, I've gotten lots of really great support. So I feel pretty fortunate.
Are there people in your life that know about your DID?
Now everybody does because I'm pretty much out there. Between the organization, and all the interviews that I do, and, and our conferences that I speak at and we hold, pretty much. It's not hard if, even if you don't know, like all my friends and family know, but as if you're like a student in my class and your parents want to look me up, it's doesn't doesn't take a lot to find out very quickly what I have and I have done. But as far as I have known, I have not gotten any negative issues. I mean, maybe there was a couple of parents who didn’t enroll their child in my class. And that's fine. I haven't heard that or not.
Have you ever had parents bring it up with you directly?
No. Never. Not one time. And I've had a couple moms tell me that, I work in a in a higher socioeconomic school and so my parents are very tech savvy and they're really into that kind of environment. And so they, I've had several parents be like, “Well, we researched you and we looked you up and I went on your social media. And I just wanted to make sure before I put my kid in your class bla bla bla.” But none of them ever said, “And I found this.” So I don't know if they did and just either they did and didn't know what it meant and so they skipped over it, or maybe they realize they hit something too personal and didn't want to talk about it. So I don't know. I haven't had the nerve to ask them yet either like, “And did you find my website?” I haven't done that. [Laugh] But no one has said anything to me about it.
What about your friends? What's that been like coming out to friends and having people in your life that know?
It is been all positive. It's just been interesting and different. I've had nothing but positive experiences. But either like a couple of things happen when I tell friends. And I think a lot of it too is how you tell people. You know, I try really hard to explain it as a positive, like a great thing that my brain did as a coping skill and it made me stronger, and try not to make it sound like a pity party and I need their sympathy. So first off, I started off with this positive approach. And so either a few things happen, almost always the same things happen. They feel so happy that I let down my mask and shared this that they start telling me their stories and my DID becomes secondary. Which I don't mind that. I'm happy that they feel like, since I shared this they can tell me about their eating disorder, or their addiction, or their X, Y and Z. Because now they feel like we have that connection, we've lowered, we lowered our masks. So I either get their life story then, and of course there's so many survivors and a lot of their stories are survivor based. So I get their story. Or if they're not really a survivor, have any kind of history, I get a million questions because they just want to understand. So then I get the million questions trying to understand and it's funny. And I try and explain it, which you can't really explain this to like a person who doesn't have it. Like the, like the really nitty gritties of it that they want to know. And then I, then I get their friends who I really have to put the boundaries in place because they will “Oh, can I meet them? Can I talk to them?” Or if we're out somewhere and, “Is that one of them?” That you know, I'm like, no, we're not playing, you know, spot the DID. Like we're not we're not doing that right now. So some of them I have to put little boundaries on. But overall, it's all positive. It all comes from a place of just curiosity and wanting to support.
Do you have any particular relationships with specific altars and specific friends? Or do you switch with friends? Or are you more in a place now where it's sort of a consistent presentation even though so much is going on inside?
Right now we we’re at is a consistent presentation. I've been in a lot of therapy for a long time. So I've gotten to a place where I'm still a multiple but we function pretty pretty well as one unit sharing space and working together. Back earlier on, when I was initially diagnosed. A lot of my parts had different relationships with different friends, and some of my parts had relationships with other friends’ parts. And so that was fine, it was okay. But we had to kind of monitor it because we wanted to make sure that it wasn't, I was working towards the goal of functioning as one unit and working as a team. So we had to just make sure that we weren't too much focusing on one or another to make it too separate. So just with some cautiousness I allowed those parts to have those relationships because I felt like it was important for them and their healing to have their own safe outlets.
I want to talk about that piece a little more because that's actually something that happens at Infinite Mind is that you meet other people with DID. And people that you're in contact with online from across the country or around the world come together and you get to share a physical space, which does not necessarily happen every single day. What was that like for you having friends who were also had DID?
It was amazing. I, I really believed that I knew I wasn't the only person with DID. But because I couldn't really find other people like me, I really believed I was the only one that had it the way I had it, or or had the symptoms that I had, or X, Y and Z, whatever. But when I started meeting people at the conference, I was like, wait a minute, I'm normal here. We all have these same thoughts. And we all have these same different parts of ourselves. And we all have these experiences. And it was just refreshing to see myself in so many other people where for so long I felt so alone. Because even in sexual abuse support groups that I've been in previously, it's still different when you have DID. And to be in this space where I was like look at all these people who are just like me, and they understand my nuances and they understand the DID speak when we say “we” instead of “I”, and you know. It's just, it was so amazing and comforting and home. I just I just remember this feeling of home and being with my people. Like it was just an amazing time that I could be fully 100%. myselves. And it was completely supportive. It was great.
There is such a unique culture about it. And once you sort of accept your diagnosis and connect with others. And I would agree with what you said, we've had to do the same thing as far as being careful to sort of regulate how much interaction, and with whom, and what parts, and how to come to an agreement about who is out front with those kinds of interactions, or who's paying attention, because we wanted to be healthy. Yes. And we want to continue to progress in our healing. And so sometimes we're pretty protective of that. But to have safe people to practice with who understand, and other people with DID, those friendships go pretty deep.
Yes, yes. Because I mean you understand on a whole different level of understanding. Like to show, I always feel like with with me, especially, like, my parts are sacred and if you get to meet them then you consider yourself very honored. And that's a, that's a big honor that they’ve shown themselves to you. And so it's, I just think it's really great that you're in this space where you have these safe people that you can do this with and let your parts have their time and their moments safely, and with an understanding, of course, have some boundaries. But it's just neat to be able to have a vulnerable part of yourself connect with another vulnerable part and, and share that really unique experience. That doesn't really happen in any other place.
I love how you said that about it being so sacred, your parts. And what an honor and special thing for someone to feel safe enough for some of those parts to come out. Especially earlier in therapy when when there is more switching going on, whether it's overt or covert, just more of that going on. For someone to be safe enough to be able to open up that part of yourself is a, is such a rare thing and such a sacred thing. And I feel like in some ways, even though we want to get to a place of healing, in some ways, that's part of the process of learning how to feel safe. Yes. I know that we've been through situations where someone was safe enough, we could do that a little bit and there was some switching. And other times where we've been going through something really difficult. And so the walls were up more and it's like we we just can't let that happen right now. It doesn't feel safe, we don't feel stable, we don't feel whatever. And so collectively sort of that not happening. And not necessarily meaning that those people were bad, but it's, it sometimes is a barometer of safety.
Yes. Those people are very special.
How did you get from the idea of the conference to actually making it happen?
Haha! That's a fun story. So I just envisioned it. I don't really to do vision boards necessarily. But when I want something, I write it out and I visualize what it's going to look like. So I visioned what I wanted it to look like and then I brought it to, because I have never run anything ever. I've never even like thrown a birthday party. So doing a big conference, you know. So I so I'm always one to look for help. So let me ask people who know. So first, I went to a group of DID therapists that, they have a meeting every month in Orlando, and they consult with each other and they go over cases and whatnot. So I asked if I could join them and go over this and get their input on what they thought, and safety and boundaries, and kind of get their feedback. So I had these little meetings with different therapists. And then I met with some survivor groups and said, “What would you like to see at this, this event?” So I got all this feedback. And the general consensus of the feedback was this was a terrible idea. [Laughter] So was like you, yeah. It was not. I got so like, “This is a bad idea. You're gonna have all these people in a room with DID and all this bad stuff is gonna happen.” I even got like some emails from like pretty significant well known like DID therapists in the field who were like giving me like pretty stern warnings, like “Do not do this” and “You don't know what you're doing.” And one person told me that if it got out that I was doing this, that our conference would be infiltrated by cult systems. And I was like, “What is happening right now?”
So I don't know, I should have listened. I shouldn't have. I mean, like, I guess any other person would be like, “You're right. I shouldn't do this.” But something inside of me was like, “I have more faith in my people than this. I feel like we can do this. If we, if we do it safely enough. I feel like with the right things in place, we can actually do this. Like, I don't think it's that scary as we're making it all out to be.” So we tried it. And we expected about 70 people to come. And we expected it to be, well, the we meeting, I got some good friends of mine to then finally join this committee and then we made a conference. So in our planning of it we really expected it to be about 70 people give or take, and mainly in the Orlando area. But that first year, we had 130 people come from all over. And that's when we're like, “Wait a minute, this is a bigger, bigger thing that we anticipated, and it being a bigger need than we anticipated it being.”
And I'm happy to say that, knock on wood, so far we've had 11 years of conferences, well, 11 coming up, and we have had not one problem. So all those naysayers are wrong. And we're doing very very well. And it's been very successful. And we're very proud of where it's come and how it's growing. And we were, where we were continuing to grow before the pandemic shut everything down. But we're hoping to pick back up, you know, when everything gets safe again.
I think it's a huge piece of DID history, actually. Because in the old days, it was recommended, do you remember, even when we would go to group it was recommended that we not have any contact outside of group. And it would be recommended that DIDs could not communicate outside of group or outside of session because we would be so dysregulated or trigger each other or unsafe because of histories and trauma histories or like what you're talking about. And it was a really big thing back in the day that none of us have any contact with each other at all.
That was pretty much what they were telling me. Like, “One person is going to trigger and they're all gonna trigger into little kids, and you're gonna have.” And I was like, “I think we’re better controlled than that. I think you don't give us enough credit.” They'll say, you know, and it was a big thing. And that's all the warnings that I got. Because it's never was done and no one like, “What? You’re all going to be face to face together in one room?” I’m like, “Yeah.” But it was like all of these, like, all the all the therapists were like, “This can’t, this can’t, no, this can't be.” All the, all the survivors, with people with DID anyway, we're like, “Yes, yes, yes.” And all the therapists were like, “No, don't do it.” But I don't know. I just had faith, I guess. I did it anyway.
Well, and I understand the context of wanting to keep people safe, obviously. Part of it too, I know, like therapy is, is meant to be paced so slowly as part of safety and meeting someone else with DID is almost like a catalyst and things speed up a little bit. But I don't think it necessarily speeds up in a bad way. If you're if you're both working on being healthy. And I know everyone's in a different place of learning. And I know there are toxic people out there whether you have DID or not. But generally when you have systems together who are working hard to be healthy already, then the level of boundaries and self-care and things that need to be done happen naturally because DID is already about protecting ourselves. And the level of attunement that we experience when we come together with people who already understand and the safety that happens when you are with people who absolutely understand even if their experiences are different, they get it. And there is something so real and solid about that, that I don't think that we very often get to experience that in other ways.
And the acceptance that, you know, if you come to the conference, especially, which I'm sure it's like the other avenues to, but you you can come, you can bring your doll if you need to bring your doll. Like, if you need to bring your dog, you can bring. Like you can come with your rainbow colors on. You can come with your, you know, your boy top and your girl skirt. And like doesn't matter. You're all part of the same club no matter what you look like, what your challenges are, what your special needs need to be while you're there. It's it's so refreshing to be not looked at and not judged and just be fully accepted for your who you are. Like it's so great.
So for people who have never been to the Infinite Mind conference, what are some of the ways that you all do provide safety?
Safety is our actually our biggest, our biggest thing that we do. We are, we always say that we've, everyone says, “Oh, it's so went so smoothly,” but that's because like a duck and water we’re floating nice and it's top, and underneath we’re pedaling like crazy. We make it look so seamless, but safety is our number one thing. It took us two years to plan the first conference because I wanted to make sure we had done ABC in place. So now we've gotten it pretty fine-tuned.
So at our conference when you come, we have the sessions that in general, like the sessions that we pick, none of the sessions are therapeutic sessions. They’re experiential sessions and educational sessions. So we try really hard to not open up things and do like more therapy. It's more of an educational, supportive, learn some new techniques, learn some new therapies you might not have heard of before, maybe some new kinds of friends and programs you can join. So it's more of an educational outlet. So we tried, that's one of our big things. We have, we talked to all of our speakers in advance and let them know some safety mechanisms and safety measures as well, just in case there are situations within their sessions. Each room has a session monitor that's in there just in case someone is having a hard time, there is someone in there that will go and support that person. We also have as far as like the layout, there is a creative corner where you can go and you can color pictures, like lots of grounding things. You can paint, you can color pictures, you can just take a few moments. And those are run by a therapist. And we also have a grounding room where there's just like chairs and some soft music where you can go and sit for a few minutes, as well as a walking Labyrinth that you can kind of walk and kind of get grounded and get safe. And if you're really, really having a hard time we do have some counselors on staff that will kind of talk you through and kind of help you get grounded just a little bit. So we're pretty much always looking out for safety and making sure everyone feels supported and comfortable. And as safe as they can be in that new kind of overwhelming environment.
I will see that we went to the conference two years ago. And we were working last year, so we missed last year. But we went two years ago and I was so scared and so terrified to attend this conference. Yes I hear that. But I believed in it. And so we, that's why we wanted to sponsor it that year because we can see that it was such a fabulous and amazing things, such an opportunity for survivors. But I was so scared to actually go. And it was such a fascinating experience because I literally had to just watch from afar for a while. And then, but because it was on site, I was able to go back to my room. And like I just kept coming out a little further and a little further. And I didn't even meet the friends that I was there to meet until the last day, almost the last minute, because I was so anxious about it. I think I remember that. Yeah, I think I remember them looking for you. They kept asking me where you were and I was like, “I don't know.” [Laughter] I’m sorry. But what I remember though. I think you had a table, but you weren't at the table and they kept saying, “Where's, where's she?” And I was like, “I don't know where she is. I don’t know.” Yeah, cuz you had the table and you weren't actually at the table and people were looking for you. I'm so sorry.
But I remember what I saw were people being kind and people being supportive. I saw people like you said, where you can tell several different people help people get dressed. I saw, I saw groups of littles playing together. I saw some groups of teens playing together and hanging out. [Laughter] I saw all kinds of safety. I saw someone struggling with something and they had a dog with them. And someone just got down on the floor with them and just sat with them. And I saw so many examples of people keeping people safe and just caring for them. But then the speakers, once I was able to actually go hear some speakers, the speakers were phenomenal.
Yes, we we we take very good caution. Like we really screen our speakers. No, I'm so glad and it's funny because your experience, not really funny, but it's your experience is what I hear so much from so many people. And some people go the first time and they they do what you do. They just go and so they can be in the space and then they go back to their room. Some will only go to one session for the whole weekend and their spouse or their, or their loved one whoever they brought will go to the sessions for them. And that's completely fine. It might have been the year you were there, one of the years I noticed there was a lot of teens and littles playing, and there was not many of them in the sessions and I went to go check on them because you know, we care about our people. And I found them all and they were all just in the pool, in the lobby and they were just having a great old time hanging out together and I was like, “That's fine.” You know, there's no rule that says you have to actually stay in the conference floor. You know, this is your weekend, and I was thrilled to see them bonding and having fun in the pool. And that's what they wanted to do. So you know, go for it. It's just, it's just nice that they, you know, have that freedom to do that.
You always hear these stories about how the people I met there will be my friends for life. And then you're like, as a survivor that's, there's no way that's true. That's never happened for me, it's not going to happen. And yet at this conference it absolutely happened. And the people that I met there are still my very most favorite friends with DID. And the first time I went, I went knowing no one. I had only emailed you, I wouldn't even call you because I was so stubborn and scared. And I knew no one. No one. But when I left, there were people that are still my friends today and the next time I get to go to that conference, I would be ecstatic to be able to reconnect with a whole list of people.
Yes, that's what's so great, it is, every year. I mean, I’ve been in there every year, obviously. But I get the same excitement. Like I've met people there now that are lifelong friends. We've had people meet and get married at the conference. So that was our biggest thrill. We had a couple meet each other there and then now they're married. So we're excited about that. But yeah, but like, I love watching your reunions. Mine personally, too, but just with each other. Because that first night, on Friday night, we have like an open house kind of thing. So people can walk around and see the space and kind of get their nerves out and take their systems for a tour and see the rooms, and see the grounding space, and kind of get that out of their system, so to speak, before the main conference starts on Saturday. And I just love watching the reunions and the hugs and the how are yous and I missed you and, and and hearing their stories of growth from the year past. So this year, and it's just that is one of the most beautiful things is the friendships that you form. And it's just like, yeah, like you said, like you think oh, not really, but it sticks. It just does, being in that space together. Just does.
I love it so much. And I'm so grateful. Thank you for doing what you do. What is it going to be like differently this year because of the pandemic? It has to be virtual, right, you said?
It does, and let me tell you I cried like a boohoo cry. I cried when we made it. I mean, again, safety is our number one. And we sat down as the board and we, because it's unknown as a pandemic, you know, what's going to happen? Will there be a round two? Who knows? You know, safety is our number, is our number one. And we're like, if we have a conference, we worry people are going to come because they want to see their friends and they don't want to miss the experience when maybe they shouldn't, and put them at a at a more dangerous risk. And we didn't also want there to be a second wave of COVID and then we have to cancel it outright. And all the people and their systems, because you know, it being how hard it is to get your system to pack up, you know, get ready, get in the mindset, we're going to do this, and then suddenly you can't go. It would be devastating. Right. And we didn't want to do that to people. We were like we can't just do that. So we had to make the decision to move it virtually. And I boohoo cried. I did. I mean it was the right decision. But like we said earlier, I want to see my friends. I want to see them. And to know I won't be able to see them—I’m going to cry just thinking about it—but to know I won't be able to see them now for an extra year is sad. Like, I miss my people. And seeing them every year is like my, is my bucket, like it fills my bucket and rejuvenates me and gives me like just what I need mentally to make it, you know, and keep going. I boohoo cried. And so we made a commitment as a board. We're like, okay, but we need to try and make the virtual conference as connected as we can be even though it's virtually.
And so right now, that's all the information that I have is because we're still in the deep, deep midst of of going through different platforms and trying to figure out the best way to hold a conference virtually, while still providing that level of connection. Because we don't want to just record them and have people listen because then it's a podcast. And podcasts are great, obviously, but that's not a conference. Really isn't about pod, the session, as much as it is the community. So we are really trying to find a platform that will support the community feeling. And so we're hoping. We're, that's where we're at now where we're in constant talks and in planning meetings. And so it will be happening the same weekend it was supposed to happen, which is the last weekend of January. I think the 28th and 29th, maybe? Or 29th and 30? Virtually. And that's all we got so far. And we're working really hard to to make it still so people can communicate and talk to each other and have their little, their little groups.
And we already rebooked the contract for 2022 in person. So we will be having it in 2022 regardless. If we are committed to bringing it back in 2022.
The other thing that happened because of the pandemic was we had just started a new program, where we were bringing Healing Together to various locations for one day like mini conference. And we did one in Boston. And then the next year, this before pandemic, we were supposed to be out in LA in September, like just like last month, we were supposed to be in LA for our one day mini conference. And we had to obviously not do that. So we're hoping that probably I don't know in 2021, because until we know what's really happening with COVID. But we're really hoping if not late 2021, then 2022, to really bring back the regional conferences as well. They're not nearly as big and as inclusive and all as the regular ones. But it's just a nice one day little mini, mini piece of Healing Together. So, so we're trying to bring it to other places around the country as well. So, hopefully that will, that will get back into good swing once this all is over.
And people can watch your website for updates about the conference. But it is going to be the same weekend, they can go ahead and book that on their calendars.
Yes, you can totally book it on the calendar. It is going to be that same weekend. It will be live, we just don't know what that's going to look like yet. We're still figuring that part out. But it will be live sessions because that's, what's the point if not? We are, we are trying to find a way to make it so people can still connect with each other because one of the other things, which you probably know, but our listeners might not, at the conference we also do a lot of small groups where if you have a specific need, then you can create your own little like mini support group. So we have like a board that lets people who are parents, and they have, you know, parents with DID, or the ritual abuse survivors, or they have a special niche that they want to find their special little people within these special people. And it's really nice that these groups get to connect on that level too. And so we're trying to find a way to keep that feeling and be able to create little mini rooms for people who want to connect on a deeper level. So we're working on all that to keep, to keep it. But it will be that weekend. And we're still, we're just working hard on figuring it out. But yes, watch the website. And hopefully sooner than later we'll have updates on that for sure.
That is so exciting because I think that all of us, as frustrated as we are with the pandemic, I think all of us are excited to connect and understand the context of having to adapt. So it is heartbreaking. But it is certainly something we've all lived through together. So I think that even though it's not the same thing, it's something still pretty special that we can connect online in that way. And we look forward to it. We will be there online and are happy to help if there's anything that we can do to help. Yeah, well, if you have any. Well, we're putting together right now a small team of people who understand technology. Because I don't. And so like people who can kind of be the, like an advisory thing and let us know more about how to run Zoom meetings, like look like large ones or do virtual platform. So if you or anyone listening has any experience with that we'd love to add you to the team because we're trying to figure all this out. And we do not. This is not our forte. We're face to face people. We're not online people. So yeah, it's a lot. It's a big learning curve for sure, for sure.
So we'll put a shout out for that, for people who can help with the technology side of things. Is there anything else you're needing?
No, that's all for right now is just figuring out the technology piece. And then I know we're going to need volunteers to help moderate the rooms because from what I understand from doing these things from other people that you need room moderators and monitors, so I mean we're gonna need those kinds of supports too. But until we, ‘till we know more I don't know what needs we have after beyond this.
Well thank you for talking to me and for updating us and telling us the story behind Infinite Mind. We’re so grateful. I know that I was like one of the most difficult ever first time visitors. So if I can do it and survive, and get through things, I know other people can. And the people I met there were truly truly good friends that are now in my heart and I am grateful for the opportunity to continue to connect with them and learning how to make friends. And it really helped hold me accountable, I feel like. Because I had to make a decision that weekend because time was running out. And these were people from all over the world. And if I was really going to connect with them while we were all in the same place, I had to do that before the conference was over. [Laughter] I had to, I had to finally come out, so to speak, and go up to people and say, “Hey, this is me,” and “I've been waiting to meet you,” or “I wanted to connect with you,” or “I saw you talking about this.” And, and that experience really changed my life and is one of the things even that helped the podcast keep going. Because that was terrifying too and trying to learn how to do that. So I feel like one of the other things besides friendship and attunement that Infinite Mind gave me was courage. And I am grateful to you for that. Thank you.
You're very welcome. And maybe one day we'll see you take the ultimate step up and be a presenter. [Laughter] One day.
I think everyone's already listened to me. [Laughter]
No, you never know, you always have some, you never know what people need to hear.
Ah, see, this is what the Infinite Mind does to you. It's like, here, come and learn some things and maybe make some new friends, and also it's a double dog dare.
[Laughter] I know, but I love it. It makes me so happy because a lot of our presenters used to be really scared first time attendees. They were. And you know, I remember so many of our presenters would come the first few years as a supporter, and they wouldn't even self-identify as being there as someone with DID. And then to see them a few years later being a presenter. You're like, “Wow, that's so great.” So great.
Oh, thank you for coming on and sharing with us.
You're welcome. Thank you for having me.
[Break]
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