Transcript: Episode 312
312. How to File a Complaint
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[Short piano piece is played, lasting about 20 seconds]
*Conversation begins*
[Note: Podcast host is in bold. Podcast guest is in standard font]
I mean, I know. I just want to say that I do know that maybe some of the stuff that I talk about might be triggering to either myself or you. And so I just want to make sure we're grounding ourselves or checking in with ourselves as we're going along.
Absolutely, absolutely. That's so good. And I love that you are starting even this conversation with an approach from self-care. I think that that is just beautiful and evidence of the progress we've made, right? Totally. Okay, so if you're ready, just go ahead and jump in where you want to start. And we'll go from there.
So I am an advanced doctoral student in clinical psychology. And I'm not sharing my name because I'm aware that doing so at this point in my training would likely jeopardize the completion of my degree. I've been in an intense therapy for the last seven years, but I'm speaking to you about 11 months after receiving a diagnosis of DID.
I was introduced to the podcast about three months after our diagnosis. And as I've been listening to the podcast and hearing your experiences, and listeners’ experiences, and becoming more and more enlightened and informed about therapy, abuse and betrayal in general, I've wondered more and more about what other folks have done in terms of seeking out support for abuse of therapy situations, and specifically, specifically in a legal process or with state licensing boards. It doesn't seem like it's something that's really being talked about. And I think that it's important to illuminate the experience.
Now, I should say, as a graduate student in clinical psychology, I've not been trained at all at what the complaint process looks like. And I don't actually think that many clinicians have. So I want to start with a very abbreviated synopsis of my own story so that listeners can understand where my experience and knowledge of the complaint process comes from.
So, in a nutshell, about four years into my training, I was sexually assaulted by a clinical supervisor who was a senior clinician. And I reported to the employer, my school, and eventually filed a complaint with the board of psychology in the state I was living in. And subsequent to this, I was diagnosed with PTSD, unfortunately overdosed on a medication called ketamine by a psychiatrist for a year and filed a complaint with the medical board about that, or related to it, I should say. And shortly after that, my therapist of six and a half years abandoned my treatment. And I made the very difficult decision to file a complaint against her with the board of psychology as well.
So I think it's likely worthwhile to explore some of the details of these experiences with listeners, but it might be easiest to detail the complaint process and then wrap back around to share more about my experience with ketamine and my diagnosis and the therapist abandonment if time permits.
So in my first experience of writing to the board I had to very, very quickly write down what I could and just put, like what I could even put into words about the experience with, or I should say experiences, with my supervisor. Providing like really detailed examples and evidence to support my claim. And because of the nature of this claim involving a sexual boundary violation, my complaint was expedited and responded to almost immediately. So the board will send a letter confirming receipt of the complaint within a week. And this letter provides a basic overview of the complaint process. But in this instance, I was contacted by an investigator within three weeks. And I was interviewed on tape, which was actually a very interesting experience because I was assaulted by a male and then two male officers showed up to talk to me. So it was, it was hard. But this investigation by the board took a total of two and a half years, and the supervisor did lose their job and made the choice to surrender their license. And what I ultimately learned from this first experience was that it is actually very difficult for a clinician to lose their license. You have to have very clear and substantial evidence to support your claim. And the time that it took was difficult for me emotionally because I was being talked to throughout this experience in different ways. So it was just hard to work through. And I continued to stay in school. So there was a whole different response from my school about those process.
But the second two complaints are a little different than the first one. So given that these two complaints were not related to sexual abuse, they've not been responded to as quickly. It took three months for me to hear back from the medical board for the investigation process to start for the complaint on the psychiatrist. And that investigation is still actually underway, and it's been a year at this point.
And I filed the complaint on my therapist a month and a half after he abandoned my treatment. So at this point the complaint has been filed for six months. And it hasn't even been read by the board of psychology yet. And they haven't yet told me whether or not it will go forward into investigation. At the moment it seems as if no justice has been enacted, and it adds tremendously to the emotional pain that you might experience in something like this.
So it might be helpful for me to chat here a little bit about the actual complaint process and what choices you have when, when things of this nature happen. So your options, really, you have several options, but sometimes it feels like you don't have any. But you can file a civil suit for damages, which means you'd have to find an attorney. You could file a licensure complaint with the state that your clinician is licensed in. You could write or call the clinician, or the ex-clinician, to just express your feelings. You could arrange for private compensation for damages. And I think that that's usually through their malpractice insurance. You could file a criminal complaint, if that's warranted, as well. You could seek individual or group therapy; not easily done after something of this nature happens, right? So you could also request a confrontation or processing session with a qualified mediator. You could seek compensation from a victims fund, which is limited to states and organizations that maintain these kinds of funds, which I actually know very little about. And you could also file a complaint with the ethics committee of a professional association, like APA, if they are a member of that association. You could notify the employer or agency director or even church hierarchy in the case of clergy practicing psychotherapy, if they're not an independent clinician, so if they're working for a company. You could report to county or state authorities. Or you could do nothing.
So it seems like you have, you know, all these different choices. But, you know, in the state of, when you're in the state of mind in which you've been severely harmed, some of these do not feel like options, or you may have already tried some of these options. So for instance, in the case with my psychotherapist, as well as my psychiatrist, I already tried talking things through. I suggested mediation trying to mend the therapeutic relationship. But neither of these seem to be responded to. So, you know, there are ways that some of these are options. And some, sometimes they're, they're not.
So some resources that you can get information from are the TELL website, which is the Therapy Exploitation Link Line, and that website is found at therapyabuse.org. I reached out to them. And as a, you know, graduate student in training, I had no idea that this website even existed. This is not something that we talk about or learn about in therapy or in training to become a therapist. I mean, ideally, you're not imagining like any therapist is abusing their client, or sleeping with their client, or anything like that. But it happens. And we are given training around some of that, but not explicitly abuse by the therapist. So, this website was extremely helpful and resourceful, like a big resource for me. But I would say that they are not at all specific to DID.
And in my experience so far in seeking out legal assistance, I've not had any luck in finding an attorney knowledgeable in mental health who is able to take my case. This was interesting for me because therapy abuse cases fall under medical negligence, but mental health is not always medical. So it's a very specialized area of law. So even further, it seems that when I share my diagnosis of DID with a potential attorney, the attorney who does, who do practice in defending therapy abuse cases, have more than likely turned down my case due to the complexity. They've not said that outrightly, but it's something that I suspect. They all tell me that I have a bona fide case, and my evidence is sound and compelling. But none have the time or space to take it on.
Additionally, lawyers who do not practice therapy abuse would need to do significant catch up work to understand the dynamics, and that would basically, quote unquote, eat away at the bill, which these cases in some jurisdiction or in some states only can be, there's a certain cap on the amount that you can get from, like that you can seek back from these cases. So it would basically, if you're working on contingency fee with a lawyer, then you would not get back as much, like a huge chunk of the proportion of the amount that maybe the case won for if it did. So, that's also another point is that not all lawyers work on contingency. And I don't know about you, but I can hardly afford therapy as a graduate student. And indeed, actually, I wouldn't be able to afford therapy if my school wasn't assisting me through this.
So this is all extremely discouraging. And I don't mean for it to be discouraging, but this was the reality of the experience for myself. And as a clinician-in-training, I'm shocked and enraged the clients attend therapy seemingly at their own personal risk. And then when things go wrong, in many cases there's really no assistance. And I'm not saying in all cases this happens, but it seems like in many there that this would be very true, and it's horrifying and feels completely wrong.
I should also say that, you know, an attorney trained in therapy abuse who was in a different state than me, so could not help me by serving as my attorney, she spoke at length with me and she told me that she understood how it would be hard to arrive at making the decision to seek out legal counsel. But that in court, the argument would be made that the reasonable person would seek out immediate assistance from a lawyer. And that because I didn't do that immediately, we'd have to explain why it, quote unquote, took me so long. And this is to me so many shades of wrong when we consider things like the polyvagal theory and where I might be on the social ladder, so to speak, after experiencing abusive dynamic, and even just the awareness and coming out of the experience.
So some things that I think that are helpful to consider as I look back is that, you know, it's recommended that if you are in some situation like this and you're considering filing a complaint, or you know that you've been harmed severely by a provider, it's recommended that you speak with a lawyer prior to filing a board complaint, because many times they go hand in hand. But that, of course, is very difficult because you may know that you don't feel comfortable filing like something legally, but you may be willing to file a board complaint. Or vice versa. Maybe you want to do one, but not the other. And so it can take time to figure out how you feel and think about it.
And I think for me, it was really important that I was very clear about why I was filing the complaint, and I'll talk about that in a minute. But when you, when and if you write up a complaint, you'd want to write as much facts and as little feeling as you can. The more organized your complaint is, the easier it will be for the board to read and follow. They want the facts, not the feelings, because ultimately they're going to make decisions. From what I understand, they're going to make decisions based on the ethics and laws of psychology and not necessarily, you know, how you're feeling. So, the other thing I learned was that I want, you'd want to file it as soon as you can because there are statutes of limitations from state to state. And they differ in terms of the timeframe that you have to file something. So for instance, in the state of California, there's like a year, you have a year to file something from the date that you came to understand what was happening.
I think that the last thing that I would say to consider, maybe not be the last, but it's the last thing I can think of at the moment, would be to ask for help from someone you trust if possible in writing up your complaint. Because going through any evidence that you have is extremely triggering, and emotionally overwhelming alone. It's, it's, it's overwhelming in and of itself. But to do it alone is a huge task.
If you start working with another therapist, you also need to know that they cannot help you write this. It is something they can be supportive to you around. They can give space and validation. But they ultimately cannot be involved in anything legally or with the board. Unless they're, you know, you give some kind of release of information for their input around how you're doing if the board wanted to know that or something that.
So, man, it’s just a, such a heavy topic. The process of making the decision to file a complaint it's obviously very hard. And even writing it or seeking legal assistance is, it's arduous and it's confusing, and I suspect that it deters most individuals from doing so. I mean, for me, it was really hard to grapple with this. As a, as a clinician-in-training, there's this feeling that I'm going against my team, so to speak. Like, I do, I feel really bad and naughty, like I did something terribly wrong, like a snitch. And especially because I don't think that, you know, I think that my clinicians’ intentions was in were in the right place. Like, they didn't mean to harm me; they just didn't know what they were doing and ultimately harmed me, deeply.
But as a client separate from being a clinician, which is hard for me to separate out, it was also hard because I'm attached to these, um, these providers. I worked with my psychiatrist for five years, and I worked with my therapist for six and a half. So these were for me, you know, my first, quote unquote, healthy attachments. At least they started that way. I don't think that they ended that way. But yeah, I think it's just a really hard decision process. It actually took me six months to file the complaint on the psychiatrist. And initially I could not fathom filing something on my therapist. I love and adore her, and writing up the complaint was so hard. It took me a month and a half, and I think four months away from her, my thought process started to change. And I started looking for legal counsel, realizing just the gravity of what had happened and what I am experiencing. Because she was originally with me through the sexual assaults, and it just feels like a huge loss like I, my world just completely crumbled again.
So I'm very hurt. And I'm very angry about what happened. But I did not want to act on my anger, specifically. Like I wanted to choose to do something healthy with my anger to work through my anger differently, than to specifically to like file something against someone, like “I'm going to get you back” kind of thing. But so I had to be really clear with myself why I was choosing to file a complaint or to even seek legal counsel. Like I said, it's hard to file a complaint on someone you love, that you're bonded and attached to.
And the reason for filing a complaint on each of my providers is different. And I can get into that more, but both are definitely related to not wanting other people these clinicians are working with to be harmed. Because if there was so much oversight in my treatment, that could possibly not be an isolated experience. And there's no way for me to know whether or not they are both getting support, or even attending to the matters that created this situation on their own. So by filing a complaint, I felt like I was doing what I can, like what is left in my control, to see that they get help so that no other people were harmed.
That all being said, I have hit wall after wall as I have attempted to explore this. And as someone with the ability to research and explore this from a psychological perspective, I feel very concerned that individuals with less resources or knowledge in psychology have even more difficulty than I'm having. And it makes me incredibly upset. It seems that legal, the legal-slash-therapy system of seeking help is completely screwed up, for lack of a better word. And I'm not sure what to do as a clinician or as a client. But I very much want to come up with like, I wish there was a way to come up with a list of attorneys who are actually DID informed, because individuals with any mental health conditions, as well as OSDD or DID or anything should have the option and the rights to have legal counsel. And they should be able to choose to file a civil case if they wanted to against their clinician, or should have help in the complaint process.
You know, I was I think I mentioned this to you, I was thinking back to the Jane Hart episode. And I recall that there was an attorney that oversaw the filming and rights of Jane's experience. And I thought how fortunate that that attorney was informed and assisted her. And we need more folks out there able to help like this. I'd like to know how therapists who assist with therapy abuse cases come to gain knowledge on the ramifications of such betrayal and abuse.
And, you know, the TELL website has a really good list of attorneys. But given my experience, I'm not sure how many of them have assisted in cases where DID was a diagnosis. It seems like a potential area to investigate, both how many clients with DID therapy abuse cases have sought out legal assistance or filed complaints, as well as the reasons why they did or did not do so, and the process of an attorney becoming, you know, more trauma informed.
But that's so far been my experience with the complaint process. I don't know if you have any questions about that that I might be able to answer, or if you'd like to hear more about maybe some of the things that led into more of the dynamics of this.
I just, I appreciate you sharing. My only experience with the complaint process at all was my friend who came on and talked on the English teacher episodes. We had the same therapist, and that therapist moved me into her home, and that same therapist became this, my friend's like best friend. And she was seeing both of us for therapy. And the boundaries that happened. And then there were other people also staying in that home who had been patients, or were patients or clients. And ultimately, in the end, I was only 17 at the time, and so I remember that she told me that this was going down. That she told me that she was going to file a complaint. That she realized what had happened was not okay. And because it was not okay, and because so many other people were involved, and because there was this pattern of lots of it, of it happening to so many people, that she wanted to stop it by filing this complaint. And I wasn't sure what that meant. Again, I was super young at the time. And I remember that I wrote about this in my journal so that I could talk about it. Like I, I prepared for us to have this conversation, but it's still a really difficult one. I remember feeling like my parents were getting divorced. Because I was living in this person's home and what was going to happen to me if I couldn't live there? Like, I had nowhere else to go. I didn't know how to resolve that.
So even aside from the therapy pieces, I couldn't tell like how much was she doing for me because it was who she was, or how much was she doing for me because she actually cared about me specifically, or how much she was doing for me because she was stuck with me. And I feel like that became part of my trauma. Because the boundaries were so blurred, I didn't know those answers. And so it was hard to make meaning out of the care that she was offering because I couldn't see clearly what it meant. And then my friend, who, I, we weren't close friends at the time. We've become friends through this experience. But she had been my brother's English teacher in junior high. And literally was the only person that I had known for like half my life. At that point, I had no other. Even though that was like such a random attachment, I literally had no one else.
And so when she said she was going to file the complaint against our therapist, it was a bit of a panic for us. And, in fact, we ended up running away and leaving the state. And what happened there and everything because of that it's a whole different podcast episode. But, basically, about six months later after she told us that, we got a letter in the mail saying that a complaint had been filed and requesting us to go to the state capitol to testify on this case. And by that time we had turned 18. But we still did not have a driver's license, I still did not have transportation, I had no way to get there, and that therapist had been like the only foster mother that had stuck around. Except she was my therapist. She wasn't supposed to be my foster mother.
And now I know, like, intellectually, looking back, this was the early 90s or late 90s. And so there was all this re-parenting going on and things like that. So even if her case, even if, even if, that's always the confusion, right, with those bonding neural pathways? Even if it was not malicious in this case for me, what harm was there and what happened because of that? And could I ever go back? Or could I not? Or should I join this complaint and testify against it?
What they wanted me to testify was that I had been her patient, that she did EMDR in her home with me, that other people were also living or visiting the home who had been patients, and that there were conversations about people's diagnosis and confidential things that should not have been talked about. So there were like four different things specifically that they asked me to come testify. And it was a really, really scary time. And I don't know.
I don't know what the right thing to do would have been. We didn't understand what was going on, and we hadn't initiated the complaint. And so for us at that time, like 17, 18 years old, we did not show up. We did not go back. We did not testify. And I know that she did end up losing her license and had some kind of like probation after that or something. I don't know how that played out, and I've never spoken to her about it.
And it is very vivid though, when that plays back. And the dynamics of what was going on. And I didn't even know, like, what family was, or what friends were, or what foster parents were that don't hurt you or die or something. Like it was so confusing. And I had no help at all. There was no attorney talking to me, there was no advocate helping me, there were no resources for me to turn to. I just basically couldn't figure it out and panicked. And I was overwhelmed. And I didn't want to be in trouble. The only two people that I had known since I was an adolescent were like, had been best friends, and now were like, divorcing. That's what it felt like. And so, um, it was a heartbreaking, horrific, like, the ugliness, and the sadness and the grief that was involved then is more than I can.
Like, even I'm shaking just talking about it now. And I've never really talked about it. I've alluded to it a couple times in therapy, but I've never gotten to process that or talk about that with anyone or the details of what went on. And so, I don't want to distract, because you've been able to walk through the process, and so you know some of these details. And we can talk about that.
But I just want to acknowledge, like, how triggering this can be and how the big feelings are so big, and how it's so hard to tell the difference. Like when we're talking about that relational trauma, just with anyone, like even our caregivers growing up, and the betrayals and those violations and what that does to our brain. And like the bonding neural pathway being stronger even than what we need to survive. And all these different layers that we know about the brain or like you mentioned, the polyvagal. It's so much. And when that happens inside the therapeutic setting, it's really, really scary.
Yeah. You know, I can relate to just the way that so many things get jumbled up and it's hard to know, like, it's hard to be clear about what was helpful and what was not helpful.
*Conversation pauses*
This conversation is continued in the next episode. As always, please care for yourself after listening to this podcast. Thank you.
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