Transcript: Episode 152
152. Listener Emails
Welcome to the System Speak podcast. If you would like to support our efforts at sharing our story, fighting stigma about Dissociative Identity Disorder, and educating the community and the world about trauma and dissociation, please go to our website at www.systemspeak.org, where there is a button for donations and you can offer a one time donation to support the podcast or become an ongoing subscriber. You can also support us on Patreon for early access to updates and what’s unfolding for us. Simply search for Emma Sunshaw on Patreon. We appreciate the support, the positive feedback, and you sharing our podcast with others. We are also super excited to announce the release of our new online community - a safe place for listeners to connect about the podcast. It feels like any other social media platform where you can share, respond, join groups, and even attend events with us, including the new monthly meetups that start this month. Go to our web page at www.systemspeak.org to join the community. We're excited to see you there.
[Short piano piece is played, lasting about 20 seconds]
You guys, we have so many listener emails to catch up, so let’s get started.
Kathy starts with, “Your honesty and strength regarding your NICU and PICU experiences come through in your writing. Please read my recent blog post, which may offer you some strategies and support.”
So, she gives us a link to the blog that she wrote about if you’re a trauma survivor, and also the parent of a special needs child, which we obviously are, for sure. And, she says that they’re going to be speaking at the Healing Together conference in February. So, that’s happening next weekend, or maybe has already happened by the time you hear it. But, definitely watch for her, and on Facebook, we can post the link to this blg.
Wren says, “I’m supporting someone with DID. I’m seeking all the resources I can to learn about DID and better support them. I have so many questions.”
Well good, I’m glad you found the podcast.
“One of them is how to interact and support someone with -- when one Part is sometimes suicidal, and other Parts want to live. Do you know anything I can read? Are you available for a phone call to discuss this?”
Well, you have a couple of options. One is that the Plural Association has started a warm line. So, you can look them up if you’ve got specific questions. If you want to do some coaching, we are totally available for that, which is brand new, and we’ll be talking about that later. But, you can contact us about that on the website, or you can also look up the Plural Association for specific questions about how to support a partner with DID. The podcast also has The Husband on it a lot, so I hope you keep listening. And, there are lots of support groups online as well.
Laurie says, “John Mark, John, Mark, John Mark.”
[Laughs]
“I have missed hearing from you, and am so glad you posted today. You totally crack me up. The Husband, he’s a crazy fellow.”
[Laughs] Did he say that?
“There’s snow up to my knee-balls.”
[Laughs] Oh my goodness.
“I laughed so loud, my cat ran out of the room.”
[Laughs]
“You are such pure innocence and joy, and I love your episodes. And of course, your new therapist will love you just as much as your original. I know that change is difficult, but all of you have worked so hard, and are working together so well. Maybe now your mission can be just to relax, watch football, and eat salsa.”
Well, I know football is a big deal, because we are in Kansas City, and so we’re in the Superbowl. And, if they win, our kids don’t even have to go to school the next day, which is not okay, you guys. [Laughs] So, we really need the Chiefs to lose. I’m very sorry, and I know people will blame me for saying that, but we have had so many snow days. Please, please let the kids go to school. [Laughs]
“Sasha, Cassi, Em, Dr. E, Molly, Taylor, Sarah, everyone on Team Emma, I wish you all the most magnificent 2020, because no one on the planet deserves it more.”
Aww.
“Thank you for your willingness to share all of the highs and lows of your journey and the many facets of your truly miraculous mind. I can’t wait to hear more.”
Laurie, that was super kind. Thank you so much.
Andy says, “Thanks for the shoutout. I don’t recall if I mentioned it or not, but I also volunteer and deploy into disaster response. I probably --”
That’s super cool that someone else with trauma and skills in that area is volunteering in humanitarian aid and disaster response. It’s kind of a big deal, right?
He says, “I forgot to tell you in my last email that I am deaf in one ear. At one point, I was considering getting a Baha. It got approved through insurance, but then I lost my job.”
Ah, that’s so frustrating, right? You know what? Right now we have Medicaid in Kansas, and Medicaid in Kansas does not cover anything with cochlear implants. So, we can’t get the upgrade that we need. We can’t get a mapping, which is how they adjust the sound on the implants. We can’t get batteries. We can’t get the new processors that are out. And, we can’t fix it so that we can hear music in both ears at the same time. We can’t use our phone to talk or call someone. We can’t get bi-lateral sound for music or anything through the bluetooth, including podcast interviews, and it’s so frustrating. Insurance is rough. Like, why just that disability doesn’t count? And, they hardly pay for hearing aids. It’s super frustrating. It is super frustrating.
“I have cross hearing aids, but the sound is frustrating sometimes, and still confuses me directionally. I am directionally challenged. I can’t tell where sound is coming from, because I don’t have two ears to process it. Are cochlear implants the same? I don’t tend to wear hearing aids, because they frustrate me more.”
Yes, Andy, you are totally right. Cochlear implants are the very same. We can hear when sound happens, but we don’t know where it’s coming from. Also, we have made enough progress that we’re pretty -- well, most of us who have learned how to use them -- are pretty good one on one. If we’re one on one with a friend, or like in therapy, we don’t have to use interpreters anymore. But, when we are in a group setting or, like, at a restaurant, or at a conference, or a church, where there’s lots of sound, we actually miss most of it, and don’t understand. So, that’s the other thing that adds to our social anxiety, actually, is just because we can’t hear and understand what’s going on.
If we have a small group of people, who are vigilant about paying attention where they’re talking, and that they take turns speaking, then we can do okay if the environment is quiet. But lobbies at conferences, or conference rooms, or when there’s a speaker or something -- those things are really, really tough for us, and we’re actually getting super anxious about that for the ISSTD conference in March.
Andy also says, “I also forgot to mention that I have a daughter with special needs. She’s got a whole host of medical problems, and then add to the mix, she’s a teenager trying to figure out how to be 15. If I weren’t bald, I would pull my hair out.”
[Chuckles]
“I can commiserate with you on dealing with hospitals and medical facilities, then add in DID.”
I am seriously, seriously not even kidding, I totally, totally get it. I hear you. It’s just really, really rough to be a special needs parent anyway, but to have those kinds of challenges along with trauma, plus all the medical drama that goes with it… it’s exhausting sometimes. Like, I love my children more than anything, but it’s also just this helpless feeling of you can’t make it better. You have to hold them down for different procedures. There’s so much triggering drama and trauma and new trauma for them and new layers for us, it’s really, really rough. And, I think that’s one reason we’ve bonded so well with our new friend, because she is also a parent of a medically fragile child, and so she gets that in a way. So, I totally get connecting.
He also mentions Caroline Spring, who wrote some of the books that we have mentioned, the Unshame book, and she also wrote Recovery Is My Best Revenge. We did invite her to be on the podcast, yes. Thank you for pointing that out. Yes, we did invite her to be on the podcast, and she declined. So, we will not be having Caroline Spring on the podcast, which is fine. She can pick that. We’re cool. I think she’s starting her own podcast now, so you all should listen to her, because she’s got some great, great stuff.
El says, “Hello, I am excited to have found your website, and I’m interested in learning more about you. There is often stigma that people who are perceived as struggling with their own mental health should not be working in mental health. I was curious how the experience has been for you, and if you would be interested in emailing about it. I have a friend with DID, who is a therapist, and she’s terrified of having -- she is terrified of sharing about having people with others in the field, because she worries they will assume she can’t do her job well. Thank you for being brave and sharing your story.”
So, that’s totally a legitimate concern. And, in fact, I would be really careful with who you share. We’re about to come out with the ISSTD, because the podcast is getting an award from them, and our name will be included with that. And so, we’ve been practicing on the podcast coming out, a little bit at a time. But, it’s a really big deal, and we don’t know entirely what the repercussions could be. The ISSTD themselves have been very receptive, and my colleagues there have been very appropriate, those who I’m closer with. I’m able to sort of -- we can let loose a little bit and express a little differently. But then, in the work setting -- we also work for the ISSTD now -- and in the work setting our job there, Dr. E is able to be very focused and just do her job, like she would anywhere else, and no one has been intrusive or inappropriate.
And then colleagues we’ve met, have been nothing but welcoming and appreciative, and it has meant the world to us. But, that said, it’s still a scary thing. And so there’s been several episodes where we’ve talked about this on the podcast with different people, and I know several different professionals have written in through email episodes. And so listen to those, and you can sort of bond with them through that experience, that we all share together.
There are things that we need to do carefully and have good boundaries with, like how much you work with trauma, or how much trauma you work with, or how often, and what kind of support and help you get for that. We’ve been really careful with that, and actually, are only just now starting to work more in private practice again. And, that in part is because of the progress that we made, and the support we now have. But, we’re still going super slow, and being very careful about it, and are pretty protective of the people we work with. And, so, it is a big deal, and it is scary. So, definitely listen to those episodes where we talked about that. Thanks for writing, El.
Barbara says, “My morning routine is to listen to your podcast. Sometimes I relisten as some of my Parts need or benefit from that. This morning’s podcast, and after our internal meeting our therapist has us doing, we, for the first time I can ever remember, couldn’t get through the podcast. Around the ten minute mark, after you all were talking about safety with The Husband, I was a sobbing, snotty mess. Thanks for that.
“How beautiful though. I realized there are very rare times where anything grabs a systemic focused hold with us, and this morning’s podcast fit that bill. Woah, the emotional explosion. Now I have to wash my face, gather ourselves, redo makeup, and drive --”
I won’t tell you how fast that they’re going to drive. [Laughs]
“So, thanks for that. You have a gift, and thank you so, so much for sharing it.”
Oh, we really appreciate that, because it is so scary. It’s so scary what we’re doing, you guys. Uh, not just anxiety, but legitimately vulnerable and risking, and even safety concerns. But, it feels like the right thing, and so we’re trying to sort of act in faith, so to speak, and continue doing our best. Thank you for the encouragement.
Crystal says, “We just finished listening to the October podcast, and at the beginning when you were laughing, I really felt for you how painful this time has been. I really appreciated the way you took care of the listener throughout the podcast. About 36 minutes in was powerful, how listed coping skills, and ways to take care of yourself helped. When you talked to the listener about surviving and coping, I felt like you were specifically speaking to me. Healing is hard, and super painful, but it does enable me to have moments of joy.
“I had this image the other day of the frog in the pot that doesn’t notice the water is heating up, except that instead of the water being something harmful, it’s a pot of healing, and as the water slowly heats up, and we are healing, but it’s so slow, and so continual that we don’t notice, until one day we realize that we are free, and alive, experiencing a full range of emotions in a healthy way.”
Aww, that is beautiful, Crystal. I’m so glad you shared that with us. Thank you.
Celeste says, “I relate to your situation with your dad being a music minister. Mine was a Pastor. As a teen, he was removed from a church after a woman reported him to the district. He was then placed in another church as a Pastor three years later. I went to Bible college with the same organization. There were a lot of good people, despite some bad apples. It was there that my healing from trauma began, and that was when I was most connected with a kind and loving God. I now have a new spirituality with a Goddess. Thank you for your inspiration and taking the risk to incorporate your spirituality into the podcast, and the wisdom of not sharing details of your religion. There are kind and good people, as well as evil, slimy people, in many organizations.”
We totally agree, and we really don’t at all mean to be pushing our faith, so much as sharing the procession of it, because for so many of us, it is trauma related. So, I appreciate your sharing and connecting with that.
“I really relate to changing therapists. Years ago I worked on attachment, mother hunger issues, with the therapist. I needed a different kind of therapy, and she decided to refer me, and I did a responsible ending of the therapy. It was the most painful thing. I cried and cried for months, but although I didn’t really like the other therapy, it was what I needed at the time. The amazing thing is when I started working at a mental health clinic 11 years later, I realized she also worked there. I was able to reconnect with her in good and appropriate ways. We even work together on a committee to bring coping skills and recovery orientation to the organization.”
That’s amazing, and I so appreciate you sharing. This has absolutely been the hardest thing we’ve ever done in our life, although I will say, it has been the most conscious and aware and intentional group decision we’ve ever made, other than marrying The Husband. And, that has been powerful, and so, so healing, and very protected, even while it’s been a hard thing.
Rachel says, “Recently, my therapist of nine years retired. Our last appointment was three hours long, and she said goodbye to every person of me. She also let me choose items from her sandtray collection to keep. I have created my own sand tray out of a plastic container.
“Again, losing her was super painful and devastating. I’m seeing a new therapist now, and I’m connecting with her. While she can never replace the previous therapist, I think she is bringing a deeper healing with new ways of working inside. I hope that you also find a therapist that can help you further your healing, and provide the safety and care to continue healing.”
That’s so kind. I think it’s pretty special when you work so hard to find a really good therapist, like, nothing can replace that relationship, and it’s so powerful. And, ours was unique in that it went so far back in our history, even though she was not our therapist that whole entire time. And, so, letting go of that’s been really hard, and because of the sort of timing it happened, we weren’t able to do it in person. But, I also think that, for us, I don’t think we would have been able to, and for us, that was not the lesson that was important. The lesson that was important was that she was still real, even when we couldn’t go, and that even when we were saying goodbye, we weren't actually losing anything. Nothing was being taken from us. And, for us, for our system, that’s exactly what we needed, and what’s been so healing.
Crystal says, “Thank you for the new addition of the guest page on your website. This is a good place to refer clinicians and professionals. Some may have stigma around listening to an individual with lived experience. This is a wonderful way to provide a bridge between the professionals and the experts with lived experience.
“Thank you for answering my question regarding donations. I have decided to become a regular donor.”
Aww, that was really kind.
“I truly wish there were enough donations to compensate you for your time, especially for the guest podcast.”
[Chuckles] Yeah, that would be great. Maybe someday. Maybe someday.
“Not that the others aren’t equally valuable, it’s just that finding, contacting, interviewing professionals in the field is a lot of work.”
It is. Yes, it is so -- oh, I’m glad someone understands that, because it really is a lot of work. There’s a lot of emailing, and the big hot shot people have assistants that aren’t really interested, and I have to, like, -- I understand it’s their job to vett me out, and make sure -- like, I have to prove I am who I really am, and I have to prove the purpose of the podcast, and explain everything. They have to check -- like, it’s a lot of work, and a lot of time. It really is.
Also, the people who told me “no” in the beginning, now that we’re cool and getting awards, some people are trying to get on the podcast, and I’m like, “You already said you don’t want to be on it. So, I’m kind of not interested.” Like, I don’t mean to be a snot, I just mean, like, participate, guys, be kind. It’s not just about if you’re getting awards or not. It’s about helping people.
She says, “So, thank you so much for all you do. I had a therapist, and still do, who sees me for a lower fee. While we can never repay these beautiful people who sacrifice so much, what we can do is pay it forward to help others. You are doing that in a powerful and meaningful way. Just as I wish that my therapist were paid with what they deserved, I wish the podcast was completely paid for, and that you were compensated for all your time and work. I encourage anyone listening, who is able to donate, to support the podcast.”
Crystal, [laughs] you just took my words away. Like, that was beautiful, and very kind. Thank you for your encouragement and your support. And, I totally agree about our therapist not being paid enough. Our therapist saw us for three years at half price, really, basically. Plus, she read the notebooks, and she wasn’t paid for that time either. And, has helped us transition without being paid. And, she wouldn’t accept money if I tried. I mean, I don’t have it to give her, but if I did, she wouldn’t take it. It just -- it wouldn’t happen.
And, so, I agree with you about paying it forward, and really, the best ways that I can pay her back -- I know she has not said this, but I know this because I know her, and I know what she’s trying to do in me, and the best ways that I can pay her back, I think, are to embrace myself for all of who I am, and to embrace all of us in a intimate way of knowing all of who we are -- and not just knowing about them, but really getting to know them -- and staying connected, instead of running away or hiding, and continuing therapy so that we continue to get better, and then help others in every way we can, in ways that are good and healthy and appropriate. I think if we can do those things, it would honor her work with us exponentially in ways that could never be measured. I still think she should get all the money that she deserves for helping us so much, but it’s so much more than that. You’re absolutely right. That was beautiful, Crystal.
Stephanie says, “I just listened to your two podcasts about mother hunger for the third time, episode 103 with Kelly McDaniel. So good. Mentions that she was coming out with a whole book about Mother Hunger in 2020. Are you going to have her on to speak again when this book comes out?”
Absolutely, we will. We love Kelly McDaniels so much, and so enjoyed talking with her, and the book that she’s writing…it’s really good, you guys. We are absolutely going to be talking about it this year.
Lisa says, “Oh my heart. The Husband is the best.”
[Laughs]
“I’m not crying, you’re crying.”
[Laughs]
It’s so true, he really is. Oh, she’s talking about the treehouse and the glow worm and the egg nog and fish tanks. Uh, yeah, he’s pretty special, you guys,he’s pretty special.
Jess says, “I’ve been catching up on your podcast. I haven’t listened since October, because of all of the life stuff, like dissociation all over the place.”
[Laughs]
I know the feeling. Oh my goodness, I know the feeling.
“So, there was lots to listen to. I just wanted to say your Mother Hunger episodes caught me completely off guard. I became emotional more than once, and the part where you were reflecting afterwards, and told the story about finding your hands…I nearly cried, because I can only imagine how profound that must have been. I just want to say you’re doing great work, and I appreciate the time and effort you put into this podcast, and all the interviews. It’s wonderful to see your progress, and you’re providing so much hope to those of us out here still figuring things out. I hope you’re taking care of yourselves as you get this.”
We are trying, and thank you so much for the encouragement. That’s so kind. The Mother Hunger episodes are probably in our top five, and they really were so very good. It was so very good. And, we have moments like this where it’s like this significant breakthrough, and so when we talk about that spiral, where like, we’re going over this and over this, over and over again, trying to learn something…but that moment when it finally clicks, and brings us up a level, and things start to make sense, and we wrestle with new things. It’s just so powerful, and it gives us strength and courage to keep trying, and the hope that things really will get better. Thank you, Jess.
JM says, “Hello, I’ve been binge listening to your podcast for the past couple of weeks. I just got finished catching up to date with them, and I will definitely have to relisten to them again. I think maybe we were diagnosed with DID recently, but I’m not totally sure. I know she was explaining structural dissociation to us, but I kind of zoned out, and don’t remember most of the conversation right before, or after she said it used to be called ‘MPD’, but it’s not like in the movies.
“I didn’t believe we had DID, but maybe somewhere close to the spectrum. Regardless, your podcasts have helped me understand what the therapist has been trying to explain to me, and it has made me feel so much less crazy and alone. We really appreciate how hard you all work to not only give the interview professionals, but also are vulnerable enough to share the struggles without going into great triggering details. We have looked on YouTube, and have found most of the time, people are very overt, when in reality, from what we know of it, it typically is much more covert. I know we have different People, Parts, Alters…whatever you want to call them, because we hear the voices in our head, arguing sometimes. They talk over each other at the same time as trying to pay attention to my own thoughts, and keep up with external conversations.”
That’s -- it’s -- that’s legit right there.
“This is a huge struggle for me, because if they are loud, I can miss entire external conversations with people.”
Yes! Yes! Oh my goodness.
“They have their own names and preferences, but if they do come out, they do not use their names, they use the body’s name, and act very similar to me. It’s all confusing, because my therapist is saying not to ignore them, to try to be understanding, and has even explained that the most negative self-destructive one, who is always attacking and threatening me, is just trying to protect us in a different kind of way. Over the years, if I just ignored the ones I did hear, eventually they would go away, but over the past couple of years, moreso this last year, I’ve been hearing more, and the more I ignore it, the louder they get.”
It sounds like they want to be heard, so I would double dog dare you to listen? Maybe? Maybe with a notebook? Maybe with your therapist? Maybe just listening?
“The confusing part is recently I was told by another professional that I need to ignore them and get them out of my head.”
Ugh! No, that was wrong, and that was unprofessional.
“Meanwhile my therapist is telling me not to ignore them, just try to understand where they are coming from, and how they are trying to protect me in their own ways. This turned out to be a very long message, just to say thank you for helping me feel much less alone, for showing me even this is DID, that there is still hope of functioning. Thank you all so very much. You truly have no idea how much this podcast has helped me.”
I’m so, so, so glad that it’s been helpful, and that it’s meaningful and powerful for you. It is very vulnerable. It is very confusing. And getting to know them is terrifying, but they are there, all of them, all of you, are there to take care of you. Trust them.
B says, “What if Parts of now time aren’t safe? From that figure of authority, real or perceived that we realized that we can remove our ability to be self-sufficient. To that mother figure that our Littles still continue to search for, even as the body approaches” -- and she says their age -- “but still can’t find. How about the knowledge that we have, that we are blessed to have such love surrounding us, yet it always feels foreign. We build our now time on the back of our post, but then jealousy and loneliness build within thinking. Why does she get most of the celebrations that now time brings?
“We made her that way a long time ago, to forget memory time, so we could have hope that a better now time exists. And, it worked for her, maybe even worked for some fleeting moments, but not for all. We can’t, ourselves, escape from the memories that sear our collective soul to the point of relief, so that we actually had to have another person be born to do that. We have heard her say she is our puppet, and embarrassingly, we are beginning to understand more and more what she needs. It makes us wonder, since puppets are built with artificial things, if the now time we have created can be felt as the real experience. We still hide from most behind her.”
That’s so true, you guys, it’s really hard, and it’s really scary, and to discern who is safe, and who you can connect with is a really big deal. And, as we’ve been sharing on the podcast, we’ve been learning about connection with others, and what that’s like, and how to move towards them, instead of away from them. It takes a while to learn who, and where, and to find that, but it’s out there. And, if you discern carefully, and you are kind, and gentle, and dare to let go enough to move forward, and connect with others, and move towards others…then I promise that things will get better, even while you do that in ways that are still protective of you and the whole system.
Karen says, “I also have been diagnosed with trauma-induced DID, about five years ago, along with PTSD, anorexia, depression, and anxiety. My somatic therapist sent your podcast to my psychotherapist, who sent it to me. I’ve been listening to them while I sew, and I just want to thank you. I’ve been really struggling with all of this and hearing how all your Parts talk, it’s like Wow, she knows how I feel. I’m married to my amazing husband for 25 years, and we have four kids. You are helping me understand and know that I am not alone. Thank you for N.T.IS. That has helped me out the most.”
Oh, Karen, I’m so glad. N.T.I.S is real. Hold onto it. Sew it into something. [Chuckles] It is worth remembering that now time is safe.
Lisa says, “To Taylor and Cassi, I identify with you. I push everyone away just when I may need them the most. Life is hard, but you can do hard things. You are not alone. N.T.I.S. You are loved, you are strong, you are a superhero. You have already survived this hard stuff, now just need to look. You can do hard things. N.T.I.S.”
Lisa, we so appreciate you. You’ve so consistently written in, and been so very kind and encouraging. Thank you so much.
Andy says, again, “I just listened to the podcast, and I must say that I felt that whole experience to the core. I have felt the same. I have uttered the same words. I have cried those tears. I just want to be normal. I have said that so many times. I should have just had it tattooed on me. That’s the sad part. The strong part is that we have persevered, despite adversity, we have survived. I have long said that survival is what I do best. I don’t know how I do it, but I do it, and you do it too. Keep on surviving, and I’ll do the same.”
Thank you so much, Andy. Your emails have been so encouraging this week. Thank you.
Anette says, “I just wanted to say thank you. My therapist told me about the podcast. She listened to it. I can relate to all the stuff you talked about. I have DID, and have seen a rockstar therapist for nine years.”
Wow.
“Like you, I don’t know what I would do if we didn’t have her. Thanks again for what you do.”
I love that people have been giving shoutouts to their therapists, because their therapists are amazing. And, so many times, because we talk about trauma, we have to talk about bad therapy experiences, but there’s so many good therapists out there, and there are so many good therapy experiences, and it’s really important that we remember that, even while we’re processing the other things, like N.T.I.S. Right? Not everyone has N.T.I.S. yet, but you can create it for yourself, and when you find those good therapists, that’s an example, and they totally deserve shoutouts. I love it so much.
Charlie says, “Hi, we’ve been listening to your podcast for a couple of months. I’m learning about myselves, which I’m still new at doing. Would you be willing to share what texting app you use to message the Others? I’m sorry if my language or wording is not right, we’re still learning.”
Charlie, we totally can. Let me look it up. Hold on. I know where it is on my phone, I just don’t know what it’s called. “Self Talk”. It’s called “Self Talk.” That’s the app we use to be able to text each other.
Barb says, “I hate them for you too. You are not all crazy, you are as real as the tears you cry. Don’t ever apologize for being where you are at when you are there, for having raw emotions, and expressing them. And never ever be afraid of being alone, even though alone feels safer. It’s okay to need people when you are happy and good, but it is even more commendable to need people when you are not. It was always so much easier to bat away an extended hand over reaching for one. Keep reaching. Strength comes from the warmth of love and care after experiencing repeated coldness and abuse. You guys are all incredibly strong. Be patient with your process and those around you, both internally and externally, that are a part of the discovery that you have always been worthwhile.”
Aw, that was beautiful. That was poetic. Thank you, Barb.
And then if you haven’t heard yet, or haven’t found us yet, we do have a system speak page on Facebook. You’re welcome to join us there, like the page, share the page, comment on the page. And, we have a couple of comments to read from there.
Robin says, “Thank you for this week’s podcast. I’m sorry some of you were feeling so overwhelmed. I just wanted to comment that even though my issues, and my mental health stuff are not comparable to yours, that I also really struggled when my older daughter turned 14 a couple years ago. I was so sure something was going to happen to her, like it happened to me. So, you’re not alone there.”
So, you’re totally on the right track, Robin, with some stuff going on with us, and we’re definitely going to have to talk about it in therapy. And, it has been very, very difficult. And, once again, learning about connection, it’s really good to know we’re not alone. Thank you, Robin.
Pat says, “Thank you for this week’s podcast. It was unbelievably brave of yous. It resonated so deeply with me, because it sounded like I sound when I melt down. It is so hard to hear yourselves sound crazy, and know that Parts of you kind of are, while at the same time, the rest of you is rational and embarrassed by yourself. If we needed any proof that this is a real thing, the uncanny similarities among systems would do it.”
That’s true, you guys, that’s one reason it’s so important to connect, because we need to remember, all of us need to remember, that we are not alone. We have each other internally, and we have each other externally, especially as we continue making and practicing safe connections on the outside, and with each other.
Our friend, Kim, says, “I just listened to Changing Teams. John Mark, it was so super good to hear your voice. I missed hearing from you, and glad someone sent you popcorn.”
[Laughs]
“It’s amazing all the things all y’all have been going through, and conquered the past few months. You continue to surprise and inspire me. My prayers and warm thoughts as you traverse a new path, with a new therapist, and spend more time with your family. I won’t pretend to understand what all that’s doing to you as a whole, but I know that you can do it, even if you have to do it afraid. ‘Snuggle My Muggle’ was the cutest episode. Your outside kids are so adorable, intelligent, and they sure can communicate. They communicate their feelings so clearly, better than I ever could at their age. I really enjoy how in tune they are with each other, as well as themselves. Good job parenting. Y’all rock.”
Oh my goodness. Sweet Kim. I’m thinking of you and your Loves, and I appreciate your encouragement. Parenting is exhausting when you do it intentionally, and try to do it well, and even then, we are a hot mess, but we are trying together. And, just like the other things, we’re learning about connection… if we step up and step into those relationships to committing to connect with them, it makes all the difference in the world. So, once again, like we learned last summer, we are better together, whether that’s on the inside or the outside.
Thanks everyone, for your emails and your messages and your continued support. We are so grateful, and truly appreciate all your kind words.
Thank you for listening. Your support really helps us feel less alone while we sort through all of this and learn together. Maybe it will help you in some ways too. You can connect with us on Patreon. And join us for free in our new online community by going to our website at www.systemspeak.org. If there's anything we've learned in the last four years of this podcast, it's that connection brings healing. We look forward to connecting with you.