Transcript: Episode 79
79. Thelma and Louise
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[Short piano piece is played, lasting about 20 seconds]
***Interview Begins***
Interviewer: Bold Font
Interviewee: Standard Font
This is Julie and Sasha.
Hello!
[Laughs] So, we are driving to Branson, Missouri, and I have tried to prepare Julie for what that experience will be like. Oh, we’ve already explained how we grew up going to the cabin, outside of Branson, on the lake, before Branson was Branson. If anyone has not been to Branson, I don’t even know how to explain it.
Have we done that in a podcast?
I don’t know. You explain Branson the way I explained it, as best you can, which will make it more fun - like three degrees of separation, while I drive to not get us killed leaving the parking lot.
Oh, the way you explained it to me?
Mmhmm.
Okay.
[Laughs]
Las Vegas.
Family friendly.
Oh yeah. So Branson is the family friendly version of Las Vegas.
Except it’s tiny. It’s like literally a two mile strip.
Which I was getting to.
I’m sorry.
But she’s very excited.
Hold on!
That’s the Amish store.
Okay, we can go there next.
Okay, so here’s the deal, in case you aren’t with us. It is girls week. And we have now officially left all outside children --
Woot woot!
Although, I love them. And we are now roadtripping our way to Branson.
Should I go?
No, you should not go!
[Laughs]
That is a Mack Truck! [Laughs] You were stopped, and he is 55. Thank you for clarifying that though. I appreciate your request for a clarifying response on whether or not you should go. We’re still alive.
Anyway, so we’re trying to get the good experiences of the chachki shops.
It is all old-timey themed. So, everything's handmaid or canned or jarred - jams and things made out of wood.
And olives.
[Laughs]
With inappropriate titles. What do they call those olives? Hold on. I’ll pull up the picture. Yes, Rocco’s Sex Olives, stuffed with anchovi. Thank you. I’ll pass.
That’s why they’re called that, because it’s an olive, stuffed with an anchovy.
Well, do you want to have sex with somebody that smells like anchovie?
I do not.
Me neither. Not my deal. Anyway, moving on. But that’s why they called it that, because it’s stuffed with an anchovy. [Laughs] If only you could see the visual example I was just provided.
That’s sign language.
Oh, is it?
The olive, with the hole in the middle, stuffed with an anchovy.
Is that the sign for olive?
It’s the sign for what they are named themselves.
Okay. [Laughs]
Okay, so what did you see in the cheese store, Julie? [Laughs]
Can’t breathe!
So, to emotionally prepare Julie for the experience of Branson, we stopped at the cheese store, and the Amish store.
What I’m upset at is that they didn’t upgrade their signs, because outside it said 250 different cheeses, but I was pleased to find out that they upped their ante to 275. We’re not in France anymore. [Laughs]
[Laughs]
Wee wee.
So, what did you see in the cheese store? We’ll do that first.
Well, beyond all the curds [laughs], I saw --
Curds meaning cheese curds, not the people.
Or cottage. [Laughs]
[Laughs]
Get it? [Laughs] I managed to find chocolate covered crickets, which I purchased, and I’m going to give them to my children, and just watch their faces as they devour insects.
Chocolate covered ants.
Yes, and there were scorpion lollipops.
Good job, Missouri.
With real scorpions. And Sasha suggested that I feed that to one of my children, and here’s the problem with that…upon my receipt of my $5 gift -- good job, Missouri.
[Laughs]
He would have asked me, “What kind of insect?”, and “Is it real?” And the honest person that I am, I would have had to answer, “Yes, it is real.” And then I would have lost $5, because he never would have sucked it, and then I never would have gotten my satisfaction out of it.
Oh my goodness.
Of feeding my child bugs. But healthily, because apparently bugs is part of the five food groups. It’s a protein.
In a cultural way, not an abusive way.
Right. Right. Right.
Being fed bugs could be a trigger.
Really?
Mmhmm.
Oh. Okay. I’m very sorry.
No, we didn’t do it. We stopped at the cheese store. Who knew it was full of crickets?
I know! It’s amazing. Yeah, that’s going to be amazing. You have fun with that. I’m sending them for my friends.
Do you have the pictures of those little toys?
Oh, yes! Let me tell you folx, if you need some redneck toilet paper, they sell it here for $1.89.
[Laughs]
But it’s only a 4 x 4 sheet, which really isn’t enough to handle your problems.
And it’s just newspaper.
Right, it is newspaper. But I mean, if you’re a redneck, you know that already.
[Laughs]
I’m just saying if you’re going to pay $2, I could buy the whole paper for $2.
What else did they have?
Hold on, I took pictures to remind me.
Because we dissociate.
Right.
Especially when people are trying to feed us crickets.
Right. Ghost poop.
[Laughs]
Who knew you can purchase that little dandy for $1.89?
It’s a bag, with two of those packing peanuts in it.
Uh huh. The ghosts did it. It’s worth a dollar. Redneck fire alarm. That consists of --
Unpopped popcorn.
Yes. You can get that too for $1.89. Apparently, in Missouri, you can furnish your home in an affordable way based off of the Chacki’s you buy at the Osceola Cheese and Souvenir shop.
Osceola.
Whatever.
[Laughs]
In wherever we are, which will be Osceola.
Now, here’s what we’re going to do next. We are going into the Amish store. Now, here’s what’s important about the Amish store. First of all, if you ever get a chance, seriously, not joking -- if you ever get a chance to eat at an Amish restaurant, that is family style, you’ve got to go eat, because it’s amazing food, and they treat you very well. But, that’s not where we are. We are at the tourist stop.
The Amish store.
For the amish. And here’s what you can buy at the Amish store. You can buy some flowers. You can buy a wooden bench. You can buy ice cream. You can buy --
Lovely wooden pots.
Homemade soap.
Benches.
You can buy local honey.
Wagon wheels.
Or you can buy fishing minnows.
And plastic horses.
So, if you’re going to get ice cream on a hot summer day, please do not buy it at the fishing minnow store.
Because you never know what’s in it.
We’re going to go check it out. We’ll be right back.
[Break]
We are back. Let’s talk about what we saw in the Amish store, Julie.
We saw baskets.
Handmade baskets.
Mmhmm. Plastic bag rugs.
Rugs made out of plastic bags. Woah, look at the flooding!
Wow.
That’s so sad.
I need to take a picture.
This is where America’s food grows. When all the fields are flooded and the wheat harvest is gone, people are going to be really hungry.
Just saying, because we worry about food. That’s our priority.
Snack time is safe.
Fluffy didn’t happen overnight.
[Laughs] I totally had to think about what you meant. I was like, “What did she just say?”
[Laughs]
Okay, we’re going to bypass Osceola.
I need a shirt that says, “I support fluffy.”
Fluffy. We also saw cornbread pans and rocking chairs. We tried them out.
And cutting boards, in multiple colors of wood.
And they were -- the cutting boards were in the shape of states.
Like Arkansas.
Which is not Missouri.
And we saw where real cream of wheat came from, and I really tried to help my friend, Sasha, in her purchase power of getting some real cream of wheat, but she wasn’t buying it.
She’s making fun of me, because we eat cream of wheat for breakfast every day.
I’m not making fun of you. I’m saying that was el natural, and I know you like to eat healthy.
Well, and let me explain this since we’re podcasting. The issue -- like many trauma survivors -- is autoimmune disorders. And we have Sjogren's, which completely dries out your body.
Woo, yeah.
And so we have to eat based on how much water is in food. And I don’t even know how to explain it, but there’s like green food, and yellow foods, and red foods that are categorized, based on how much water they have. And so cream of wheat is a green food, because it’s cooked in water, and has water in it. So when I eat that, I’m not in trouble for anything. So, it’s just easier than us, as a system, trying to figure out what on earth we’re going to have for breakfast. And then that way, at least we had one green food, and I can blink my eyes again, and go on with our day.
Because we’re making good choices.
We’re trying to make good choices. We did make good choices. We had tofu soup.
Yes.
And salad for lunch.
Yes, it was very healthy.
That way we could have road trip food. [Laughs]
Tell them what I served you for two days. I’m stealing a --
Julie cooked for us. Julie made -- she made enchilada casserole, and she made homemade macaroni and cheese. And all of the children, inside and out, were entirely delighted.
Mission accomplished. These are really good.
Now we’re eating pecans, because that’s what you do when you drive through Missouri. It’s where pecan trees are. What else did we see at the Amish store?
Honeysuckle soap.
Honeysuckle soap - it was deliciously smelling.
Some creepy pillows.
They did not have their teeth.
Or --
And we were -- I probably shouldn’t make fun of teeth, because that’s a problem with Sjogren's too - teeth.
Yeah.
Ugh. It’s terrible. I hate Shogrins. So also, I was super clumsy coming out and totally slammed the door into some poor guy's face.
But it didn’t matter, because those weren’t his teeth anyway.
Except he had a bloody nose. I’m pretty sure I broke his nose.
Hey, should we go look at livestock?
No, we’re going to keep driving. It is not farm day. I can take you to see the horses at the Dixie Stampede though. [Laughs] Did we see anything else exciting in there? Lots of spices.
Oh, yes! Lots of spices. Oh! Ear candling.
Ear candles. Oh, knitted socks.
Oh, yes.
Crochet and knitted socks. It was very exciting - the homemade store.
Yes, we enjoyed it.
That’s all we really have to say about it.
And those were really nice flower baskets. I was envious. They weren’t Busch Gardens nice, but they were a close second.
What is Busch Gardens?
It’s a theme park in the south.
Like up in the north where you live?
No, like in the south.
Up in the north.
Where I survive.
[Laughs] Oh my goodness.
We even googled it, and I showed her that I lived in the south. And do you think she believes it? No.
Because it is north.
Because a picture box told her there was a line in the middle of the continental US, and apparently that’s not Canada.
[Laughs] That’s amazing.
[Laughs] Gordon’s Orchard Farm Market. Fruits and seasonal vegetables.
The only seasonal vegetable in Missouri right now is wheat. So, we’re just going to keep driving.
Well, if we pick up some we can cream it.
The wheat harvest is in June in Kansas and Missouri. We feed America.
Mmhmm. And we appreciate it in the south.
Up north where you live. [Laughs]
I don’t know how to help her. We are in the south.
We had an interesting conversation earlier, about DID and OSDD.
Mmhmm.
So, we have DID, and that means that we don’t have any idea what’s going on in our life. [Laughs]
[Inaudible]
Do you want to explain how you were talking about your experience of things, in a different way? Or what OSDD is? Or how would you say that? It’s really just a different thing. It has to do with whether there’s amnesia or not. Right?
Well, I have amnesia.
Mmhmm.
Oh, I need to elaborate? Okay. So, your periods of amnesia might be longer than mine, because --
Like Dr. E works and presents boring things?
Well, no. They’re not boring. They’re just boring to you. So, my things are -- my people, person, whatever --
Your team.
Yeah, my team. That’s a better word. I like that word. I gave you that word. Okay, my team --
I’m giving it to you back.
Are not -- okay, so Sasha’s team, for the most part, are three dimensional team members. Right?
Super creepy.
No, they’re not super creepy. I love them all. However, my team members are not so much as much as three-dimensional.
But not less real.
But not less real.
Right. That feels better than how we were trying to say it before.
Right. They don’t -- they’re not less real.
Look, this jeep has been rock crawling. You need to know that in Missouri too.
Oh, okay, and it’s filled with menu items. Anyway [laughs] --
[Inaudible]
Did you see what I said?
No.
I said the jeep is filled with menu items. [Laughs] I’ll take the lunch special.
Oh my goodness. We’re back to seafood.
No, we’re back to the menu.
Here’s the thing about your menu items, you cannot objectify men, any more than you want men to objectify you. Oh wait, maybe you would like that. Nevermind.
Depends on the day and the person. [Laughs] She just spit her water --
[Laughs]
-- across the car. And it was great! Don’t you wish this was YouTube?
[Laughs] Oh my goodness. Look, we made it to Highway 13. How can that go bad?
You know, I almost feel like we’re taking the good work of the podcast - the smart and the intelligent and the educational part --
Uh huh.
-- of the journey, and we’re just destroying it in 59 minutes and 42 seconds.
[Laughs] That’s my job.
[Laughs] Or you could say that we’re adding life to it.
So much life…if we don’t die.
Well, you’re driving. We’re marking the miles.
I am a good driver. We have not even been hurt once.
No, Emma almost got taken out by an 18-wheeler and a train and a couple culverts, but we’re good.
[Laughs]
It’s okay. I’m almost curious to see how well John Mark would do.
Oh, do not even. Do not even tempt him.
[Laughs] It’s kind of like Russian Roulette. Do you want to ride the tractor? [Laughs]
[Laughs]
[Wheels on the sidebar]
See! There it is again, folx. That’s like number four - almost hit the wall!
[Laughs] We did not!
I’ll take a picture for you, so you know what wall I’m on.
In Missouri, that is called straightening out the curbs.
Okay, so back to OSDD and DID.
[Laughs]
Why do I have to be the good one today?
Because you think you live in the south.
That’s a fact. Roll tide.
Fake news.
Whatever.
[Laughs]
I roll southern south. [Laughs] Bless your heart.
[Laughs]
So, where were we? Oh yeah, OSDD and DID. So, we were talking --
There’s a shoe in the road. That is so Missouri!
Right above all of the intellectual and smart individuals who have been on the podcast, and shared their knowledge and their minds with us -- mine.
You said, “Shared the men.”
Minds!
You said “Men”!
Did I say “men”? Okay, so that’s what brought up the whole conversation about the difference between DID and OSDD is where --
Focus, Julie, focus. [Laughs]
Where’s the peppermint?
[Laughs]
Please don’t let this one be sealed -- is that you can be minding your business, thinking you got control of the body, and suddenly --
You’re scaring men.
Somebody else’s word pops out your mouth.
[Laughs]
And then you have to stop yourself, and try to get back to reality. You know, like that song [sings] snap back to reality. Oh, there goes gravity. Right? Same difference. And figure out what you were really trying to say, and save face.
I’m just figuring out what he’s doing with that there.
It’s easier to change a tire before you load up the cows.
Right? I’m just saying. Look! Those ones are sleeping.
You can’t tip ‘em if they’re sleeping.
If they’re sleeping you can’t tip ‘em?
Well, those are laying down cows. They’re resting. They rest before a storm comes.
I had to come to Kansas to clarify cow tippin’, which I’m really embarrassed about, only for the sheer fact that I’m from the south, and should know that.
Up north.
I’m sure somebody knows that, and they just wanted to see me falter. But it’s nobody y’all will ever see. [Laughs]
Oh!
No, let me rephrase. It’s nobody I will ever see.
We see them at the tire shop while we’re checking out -- someone else is checking out men. I’m just checking out tires.
Okay.
Someone else is sharing men.
Okay, so here’s the other thing, so while Sasha hears everybody yelling at her a lot --
Shut your mouth!
Yeah. Do they yell that?
Mmm. Maybe I yell that.
My people -- I call them people -- my people, even though there are only like -- they’re not -- nevermind. I’m not justifying it to you people.
Good for you! Preach, woman!
They’re my people, and my people send me pictures like the show Medium. Like where you’re sitting in the show Medium, and they’re sending you pictures and pictures meaning something. But I also -- they tell me things, but they’re very -- it’s not like a whole bunch of them telling me at one time. It’s like one -- it sparks a light for one, and then the message gets sent to my mouth or my brain.
Right out your mouth. Not to your mouth, right out your mouth.
Right out the mouth. And they’re like, “Why don’t you have a filter?” I don’t know. I can’t control myself. [Laughs]
[Laughs]
What else do you say? “You have no filter!” Really, you think?
Did you want to talk about that?
[Laughs]
[Laughs]
We can let Hammer come forward.
Oh, he’s got a mouth.
Hammer, I think we’ve discussed this, is the only one who’s name I know, other than one that is named Daniel -- Hammer has a mouth and talks like a sailor. And he’s okay about it. And when I say that, he yells superlatives from the back. [Laughs] So, you know how they talked about the analogy? You got somebody in the driver’s seat, somebody in the passenger’s seat, so the driver is fronting, and they’re doing all the -- they got complete control. Yeah, let’s not forget that. What are we doing here with our legs? Oh, she’s doing -- oh, okay. God. [Sigh]
So anyway --
I’m driving. I just went to sleep for a minute.
She has full control of the body. Right?
Not entirely.
Who else is helping?
Well, I just -- I’m tired of driving.
Do you need me to drive?
[Laughs] No. Everything’s fine.
That’s not true when we’re weaving through the -- [laughs].
[Laughs]
Dr. Barach, I’m sorry.
Dr. Barach is my friend. Do not mess with him.
He is sooo -- I really enjoyed him, actually. And I appreciate his knowledge and the way that he explains things, because he makes me more intelligent. So, thank you, Dr. Barach.
Good job, Dr. Barach!
Woop woop to you!
He’s nice to everybody, not just Dr. E.
He’s super nice. But anyway, so we were talking about this analogy. So Sasha, not only is she fronting, but she’s driving the body, as well as the car. So, she’s multitasking. Then I’m in the passenger seat. Right? And Lee described that as co-conscious. So, you can see --
Oh, wait, wait, wait. I wasn’t listening. Say that part again.
Okay, so I’m in the passenger seat, but I can see everything that’s going on. Right?
Yes.
And if I really wanted to, I could jump up and grab the wheel and move. Right?
Oh.
But I’m just co-conscious so I’m going to stay in my seat and behave.
Oh. I get it.
But when you’re really deep in the world, you’re in the boot, as they say in England. Or in the trunk, as they say in the south.
The back of the car.
Right. The trunk. Not the backseat, the trunk.
[Laughs]
Yeah, the back of the car, that’s what they say in Kansas.
[Laughs]
I’m loving this analogy though. We need our own comedy show. Anyhow, and if you’re in the trunk, well then you’re really up a creek, because you can’t do nothing and you aren’t seeing nothing. You’re just hanging in there just doing what you do on the inside. Right? Whether it be passing the chips and salsa in your attic --
[Sings] Salsa!
Woop woop! Or [sings] she’s trying to kill us, us, us. Or whatever you do in your inner world. Now also, Sasha has an inner world, but I don’t so much have an inner world.
Oh, really? Nobody?
Like a room or something? No. It’s like a fog.
So is that a difference between DID and OSDD?
I don’t know. That’s my experience. Or if I have an inner world, I’m not aware of it, because that’s not where I go.
I heard yesterday --
Mmhmm.
Heard is the wrong word. I saw, yesterday, someone say that someone -- so it’s rumors -- I saw that someone said that someone did a YouTube video about this just last week, and that they said on the video that people -- that the host rarely has access to the inner world. I do not know if that’s true, or not. But that’s the first time I’ve seen that. And I was like what?
I’ve heard that too. So, maybe that’s it. Maybe that’s it. Okay, so if I have an inner world, but I just can’t access it yet, because I haven’t --
Emma does not access our inner world.
She doesn’t. So where does she go? Is she in the black fog?
She has to ask for what?
Is Emma in the black fog, too, or what?
What?
Where does Emma go, then, if she doesn't access your inner world? Where does she go?
I don’t know. You’ll have to ask her.
She won’t answer that.
She won’t what?
I don’t think she’d answer that.
What a snot!
No, I didn’t say that.
[Laughs]
She’s on her journey. Like I know that I go to timelessness.
You are timeless, Julie.
Not really, because I put on makeup in the dark. Well, not really.
[Laughs]
And well, that’s a whole other story, and we won’t discuss it, but let's just say I look like I got pancake stuff on my face.
Who did your makeup? Did you ask?
No. I don’t have a way to talk to them. I mean, I could write them --
Why did you put on makeup in the dark?
Do you want the honest answer? [Laughs] Because we had pissed off Em this morning. So, we had to work through that, and somebody had to decide who was going to handle that. [Laughs] And I got nominated. Yay!
What? I don’t think you made her angry.
I hurt her feelings.
I don’t think that’s the same as angry.
No, but I hurt her feelings, and I made her feel bad.
But we are rockstar friends, because we talked about it.
Right.
We said when it hurt, and you were like, “I’m sorry.” It was super --
Oh, I was really sorry, because --
You were heartbroken.
Uh huh.
I feel bad for telling you that, because --
No, don’t feel bad for telling me that, because I needed to know. I feel bad that I ugly cried, in the kitchen, on the tofu soup. [Laughs] But what I really feel bad about, is the way that I made her feel when I was coming from a kidding place, because I didn’t realize that that was a trigger, or a spot of sensitivity for her, because she is the conductor of a symphony.
But that’s her stuff, that’s not your stuff.
But that’s not okay, because it still played into her stuff, and although I didn’t know that that was specifically her stuff, or an area of insecurity -- I don’t want to use the word insecurity.
It totally is though.
But yeah --
It’s shame-based. That’s what we’ve learned.
Right, right, right. But I don’t want to speak for her feelings, because those are hers, and she’s entitled to them. I can only speak to my perception of those feelings.
Her being a bad mom.
No, she’s not a bad mom!
[Laughs]
We get so much stigma, and everytime she gets on here and says, “Yeah, we’re a bad mom” -- that is not the case. I would like to refer you to The Many Sides of Jane episode, I believe it was four or five, in which the Good Doctor from Boston got on there, and said typically patients who have DID are very good parents. Please play that in reverse, and fastforward multiple times until that sinks in for you. Okay? We’re quite capable.
Wow, that was intense.
Well, Hammer was feeling a little bit about that. So, --
But we talked about it.
Yeah, so we’re good. Anyway, where were we?
We did not avoid. We are not avoiders.
That’s not really true.
Oh wait, what?
We’re not avoiders of that topic. Anyway, what we did is successfully communicate our feelings about a specific topic.
We navigated those waters.
Right, and we delegated, because that’s what we are good at, because we are trauma survivors, and the delegating is key, because everybody has a level of what they can handle. And so Sasha can handle outing a situation.
I can out you. [Laughs]
I know.
That sounds terrible. We’re not going to out people.
She will out you.
[Laughs] No!
And -- but, in a nice way, in a non-aggressive, or verbally abusive, or demeaning way. She will do it kindly, and with love.
All I said was, “You said this, and it’s hard for her, because of this.”
But that was effective communication.
[Gasps] I was an effective communicator?
Yes. I know.
Another high five. Yes.
Right? And it didn’t have a lot of drama to it. Right?
It was zero drama.
Right. It was very to the point. Right? And then when I apologized -- let’s talk about the good part too. When I apologized --
Because you’re a rockstar.
But no, because it deserved an apology. Right? Because what comes out of my mouth, I have the power, in that manner, on how I make others feel. Right? So, if I said something, and that made you feel a certain way, then that was either used for good, or used for evil. And the way it was received was felt as an evil intention, which was not the perception that I wanted to give. Didn’t that sound smart? Dr. E will be so proud.
So, here’s the thing… when you bring a problem out into the open, while it’s little and small, and there’s no drama, then it’s the two of you, whether that’s a friendship or a relationship with your partner or spouse, it’s the two of you against the problem. When you let the problem come between you, then it’s the two of you against each other, and dealing with the problem alone.
Right.
But when you stay united and tackle the problem, then the two of you are still on the same page, just sorting out a problem.
Exactly. That’s why there’s no drama. And that’s why we’re going to give her a podium. Oh, that’s right, we did, it’s a podcast. [Laughs]
I should get a badge, and you should get a badge.
We need badges.
John Mark, we need badges.
John Mark is going to be very busy. He’s going to have writer's cramp.
[Laughs]
I am due for how many badges?
A lot of badges.
A lot of badges. More than two, would you say?
Oh, I think you should get one badge per cookie.
Oh, okay. And then Sasha needs badges, because of her effective communication skills, and hosting abilities.
Do you see these little hills?
Yeah.
That means we’re getting close.
Oh! Missouri has little hills that indicate that you’re getting close to your destination.
They’re called the Ozark Mountains.
Who knew?
That’s where hillbillies live - The Ozarks.
Oh, and I thought they were down the street from me.
Straight up hillbillies, my friend.
We should play a game this weekend called, “count real teeth.”
Anyone who is not from the United States needs to google --
Siri! What’s a hillbilly?
Yes, you need to ask your phone, or google hillbilly, even Wikipedia, something, you need to do that right now.
Siri: I found this on the web.
Yes, there’s multiple resources for you in the European areas and the Western culture to google hillbillies. Might I suggest redneck slang words.
[Laughs]
That’s red, like the color, r-e-d, and neck, like your body part, n-e-c-k.
Oh god, I was getting my shoes on.
And that’s one word, because here in the south, we don’t use a lot of words. That’s funny too.
Up north, where you live.
No, in the south. We don’t use a lot of words, and we talk kind of slow.
Up there in the north, where you live.
In the south.
[Laughs] The northern south.
It took me a long time to realize that was the south, but it’s the south. Okay? Look. So anyway --
Hillbillies.
Hillbillies. So yeah, now where were we after that?
That was actually the interruption. We were talking about something else.
See what happens --
About problem and conflict resolution.
Oh yeah, but you know what was nice?
Badges. Badges.
Is that Em was very gracious in receiving my apology, which shows that she is super kind, and super accepting, as well as a phenomenal mother, and that’s an open hand to the chin. [Laughs]
[Laughs]
For all you ASLers who may be listening. Woop woop!
Woop woop!
We support you, deaf community!
Thank you so much, Julie.
Mmhmm.
Too bad they can’t hear you. [Laughs]
#DeafGirlJokes
[Laughs] Love it.
[Laughs] Laughing out loud. Okay, so what else did we do that was so hysterical?
Oh, we’re pretty hysterical.
Yeah, we are.
Okay.
That’s really kind.
You’re welcome.
You’re a good friend.
Oh my goodness.
And I love you.
Aww, so much love. Okay, we just ate dinner. This is the end of our road trip. No, no, no, no.
No.
This is the end of our road trip to where we’re going.
Right.
And --
Don’t worry, there’s more enjoyment to come for you people.
Oh my goodness. I can’t see. I’m driving and I can’t see. Ah!
It’s not good when she can, but it’s really not good when she can’t.
[Laughs] Anyway, we stopped for dinner at the very famous Lambert's Cafe, home of the throwed rolls. Take it, Julie! [Laughs]
[Laughs] Sorry. You’ll be laughing too when you hear the stories. Sasha.
Hmm?
I need a prompt? [Laughs]
What was our restaurant?
It was Lambert’s.
Well, not the name of it. What was it like on the inside? How was the food?
Oh, okay, so let’s talk about it.
Tourist mode, my friend.
It was very John Mark. Everyone was wearing suspenders and jeans, and I liked it.
[Laughs] Seafood.
No, not seafood! Oh! But that reminds me --
You cannot objectify people like that.
No, I meant that I like John Mark, because he wears suspenders and jeans, and that’s cool, because he’s my people.
Oh, okay.
Let me tell you -- we’re walking in the door. Right? And those of you who have DID understand dissociation. So let’s dissociate imaginatively for a second. You walk into a wonderfully enticing and very sensory-filled restaurant.
The walls are covered in license plates.
Yes, the walls have license plates, and peoples names, who apparently are the Lambert’s…on them. And then there are famous people on the walls. And there are --
Flags hanging.
Flags of various --
Countries.
Counties hanging. It’s very --
Over stimulating.
Yes, okay. So, as you’re walking through the dissociative hallway -- so, where were we?
Missouri.
Oh, we were walking through the dissociative hallway.
[Laughs]
Was it a hallway? Kind of. Anyway, as we’re following our nice --
There’s a rocking chair on the roof!
Holy moly! And it’s yellow.
[Laughs] It’s a yellow rocking chair on the roof of a building.
That was fabulous, and the Jolly Green Giant could sit in it.
[Laughs]
So, we were walking through the dissociative hallway and I was following the host, not to be associated with DID -- and sorry, DID joke. Haha! Kind of funny.
[Laughs]
And that includes all the underlying secondary things like OSDD, and all of that. Okay, thanks. [Laughs]
And you were looking around yourself.
I was looking around myself, taking in all of the scenery, and stimulation. And I was not present. Sasha’s dying over the steering wheel right now.
[Laughs]
And needless to say --
You ran into the guy!
I walked into the host.
Who stopped in front of you to talk to someone.
Right, he stopped in front of me to talk to somebody.
And you plowed into him.
I really railed into him.
And what did he say, Julie?
He said, “I’m sorry. My brake lights are out.”
[Laughs]
And all I could think was, me too!
[Laughs]
I’m sorry too, but for so many reasons. So then -- Dolly Parton’s stampede. Yeehaw! Okay. So then we went to the table, and I realized that in the midwest, napkins serve as plates. [Laughs]
Paper towels.
Right. Paper towels. That’s what y’all call it here? We call it napkins.
Those are not napkins, Julie. Napkins are smaller and nicer and softer. These were just paper towels.
Okay, they were paper towels. But if you live in the south, you know what I’m talking about - a napkin. So --
Up north.
In the south. Google it. Siri confirmed.
Just google it and tell me how much further north Virginia is than Arkansas and Missouri.
We googled it in the cheese store of 275 beautiful cheeses.
Virginia was like a whole -- stop, Julie! You’re going to make me crash. [Laughs] She’s like, “Look over there!” [Laughs]
[Laughs] Sorry! I just saw really big feet, as big as my body, and it felt like we all needed to see it.
Sticking out of a billboard.
Out of a billboard.
Dolly Parton! Woop woop!
Glad that’s not life size. [Laughs] Acrobats of shang-hi.
[Laughs] It is billboard city.
Yeah, sorry, and some of them are very eye-catching. So, if you haven’t figured it out, dissociation is a real thing. So anyway, we go and we sit down, and our lovely server comes, and I was looking at the menu trying to figure out why they would only serve a sandwich, and two little sides - thinking Cracker Barrel. [Laughs]
[Laughs]
Right? Oh, no. I was so wrong.
So wrong, Julie! I’m going to copy and paste that quote from you every time I want you to say, “I was so wrong,” and I’m going to insert it into a variety of podcasts. And I can make it like [inaudible] I was so wrong.
Like an easy button for staples.
[Sings] I, I, I was so wrong. [Laughs]
I can’t with her. So anyway -- oh, by the way, since she’s dissing me -- that reminds me, shout out to my fanclub! Woop woop!
[Laughs]
Anywho.
How wrong were you?!
Not.
About sides. You ordered sides.
Oh, I was really wrong.
[Laughs]
I was really wrong.
[Laughs]
Sorry! Have you heard our new catch phrase about dissociation? Why don’t you tell them Sasha?
I’m not allowed to say those words. Do not delete another podcast!
Let’s just say that it rhymes with switch. [Laughs] Since this is a dissociation podcast. Anyway -- no, it’s not. Since this is a Dissociative Identity Disorder podcast.
There you go.
As well as other trauma disorders that are no less important.
Right. And what did you get for dinner, Julie?
Okay, so I thought I was at the Cracker Barrel, and I was going to get two sides and a little sandwich. Yum yum. And then I saw that my friend, Sasha, with some help from my good friend John Mark ordered some fried chicken.
You said, “fried chicken!”
Yeah. And what did you have? Mashed potatoes and gravy?
I had mashed potatoes and sweet potato friends?
Yes, and sweet potato fries. Because we are all about --
Shoutout to potatoes!
Yes, shoutout to potatoes. We appreciate your water content.
[Laughs]
And I, too, had french -- no, fried chicken, with green beans and carrots.
Good job, Julie!
I’m trying to be healthy, and I wanted to see if they were comparable to Cracker Barrel.
[Yawns]
This is good. And so, she’s trying to make us get sick.
[Laughs] We’re in the mountains.
I love it. I also love --
Look, roller coaster! Ahh!
I’m so glad we’re going on a road trip. I love you.
[Laughs]
Okay, and if I don’t make it there, just know that I had fun going. [Laughs] YOLO.
[Laughs] It has been so documented.
And so anyway -- where were we?
Fallen rocks? That sign said fallen rocks. That’s different than falling rocks. These are rocks who have already fallen.
Well, unless they put a southern twang on it.
Fallin’. [Laughs]
Like alligat-er and alligator.
What did you eat, Julie. How did those sides work out for you?
Or pecans or pe-cons. Which pe-con or pecan is better?
Pecan.
I said pecan. I feel like it’s pecan. Or crown or crayon?
Crayon.
It’s a crown.
Crayon.
Anyhow -- anywho -- so, I had carrots and green beans, and they even put a nice orange slice on there, which was most delicious and juicy. And then I found out that in addition to that, they have somebody that comes around and kind of slaps fried okra on your napkin.
On the towel.
On the table. And then -- is that like the butter - the farm fresh butter? Or is that just a generic name for a place out in the middle of the Ozarks?
I did not see what you are seeing?
Side bar. Side bar. Anyhow -- where were we?
Squirrel!
Oh, they slapped the Okra down on the --
Castle!
There’s a castle?
You missed it. A legit castle.
Really? How do we see it?
It’s over in that valley.
Is it rich people, and we would get arrested if we drove down their driveway?
Oh, you can’t. You pretty much have to fly over there - helicopter. [Helicopter sounds]
Okay.
When we go down this valley, try one more time. Maybe you can still see it, but I don’t think so.
Okay, well I didn’t know to look until --
You have to look fast, Julie. Stop dissociating.
I know. Well, that’s you too.
Rollercoaster. Ah!
I love this. This is fun. We could do this. This is fun. It’s a shame this is not YouTube, but for the visual experience I feel like we should have done a YouTube on this, but we won’t, because we don’t.
[Sings] I’m looking for castles. Over the river and through the woods.
I’m really special.
[Laughs] Okay, so what did you get besides okra? What happened?
Then they came around --
Softball coach.
[Laughs] Then they came around with the fried okra, and he splattered that on my napkin, on the table, and that was fabulous, in a new way. And then my eye saw salt and pepper being utilized in a Coke bottle. Now, if you’re from the south, you understand the religious sanctity of Coke in a Coke bottle. And by Coke, I mean soda.
[Laughs]
[Laughs] Okay? You don’t mess with soda. Particularly not Coke. Okay? Because that is sanctified. It’s right up there with holy water. Okay? It’s the water of the south, right there with iced tea.
I thought you said iced tea was the water of the south.
It really is. It really is. But it’s very, very close. Okay? You just don’t mess with Coke, because there are so many wonderful things that come from Coke, the soda. Okay? There’s Coke chocolate cake.
What?
Coca-Cola cake. Haven’t you had Coca-Cola cake?
No.
Okay. Your loss.
[Laughs]
Okay? Coke floats. Coke syrup. Coke lollipops. Coke popsicles.
What else happened at Lambert’s, Julie? [Laughs]
I was having a Bubba Gump moment. [Laughs] I was having a Bubba Gump moment. What was his name, from Forrest Gump? Was it Bubba Gump? It’s still on. Was it Bubba Gump?
You’re speaking a foreign language now. I don’t understand.
Forrest Gump, the movie. Did you see that?
No.
Anybody see that?
No.
Okay, nevermind then. Hopefully some of you saw it. It was very intriguing. You should see it. And then she would know the reference of Bubba Gump. You know? Shrimp, creole, fried shrimp, boiled shrimp.
Why were you afraid of bread, Julie?
Oh! Sorry! Thank you for that. [Laughs]
[Laughs]
I wasn’t afraid of bread, but I did happen to notice those chucking the bread. And my concern was that I would be dissociating so much that my bread might chuck into somebody’s head. Or there was a nice fellow chucking bread, from a cart. We will post the video for you, so that you can see it. I will take one for the team.
Good job, Julie. Way to be scared of bread!
I wasn’t scared of bread.
That’s what your children said. [Laughs]
Oh, so I was kind enough to share the video with my loving family, and the response was from my husband, “All that softball paid off.”
[Laughs]
And my daughter said, “Mama”, because we’re from the south, “Mama” -- not “Ma-ma”, but “Mama, you acted scared of the bread.” [Laughs]
[Laughs]
Hey, is that a hacienda, up there on that hill?
Yes, yes it is.
Any more castles? Okay. So anyway, Sasha was brave.
Zipline.
Oh! A zipline? Hmm.
That is not happening.
[Laughs] Maybe. And so -- what is -- okay, for a good time, call Jim Stanford?
[Laughs]
That’s very forward. Way to put it out there. Who needs tender, when you can put it on a billboard?
[Laughs]
So, where were we? Oh yeah, bread products being thrown about. So, Sasha took one for the team so that we could see how that was done. And apparently how that works is as such - you hold up your hand as though you’re waiting for the teacher to call on you, and then they hum from their current location toward your raised hand. So Sasha, with the help of John Mark, was able to catch that bread. [Laughs] Don’t think I didn’t know. [Laughs] And then I was put batter up. Winner, winner, games and dinner. Oh.
We really need to work on your geography.
My geography is just fine. I think we need to work on yours, because let’s be real, who went to school?
Who what?
Who went to class? Mmhmm.
I didn’t have to go to class. The world was my class.
Okay so anyway, then they brought us our wonderful friend chicken with green beans and carrots, and then they come around with big bags of sides, in addition to what you already got. Branson - next three exits.
Woop woop! Hey, Donna! Everybody wave to Donna.
Hi, Donna!
Woop woop. We’re waving to you.
And rolls.
Cinnamon rolls.
Oh, those were --
Hub caps.
We got hubcaps. And the guy was talking about how he was very disappointed that one guy got to hum rolls at people, but he however did not get to hum cinnamon rolls. And I told him that would be a very effective frisby, and he could be very successful at that, because of the arrow dynamics. To which he took our hubcaps, i.e. cinnamon rolls, and put them --
Giant cinnamon rolls.
As big as your head!
As big as a hubcap, Julie.
Well, it seems like they’re as big as my head.
[Laughs] Just the size of a hubcap.
Which is comforting, because that’s a big hubcap.
[Laughs]
Okay? Big hubcap. Where were we? Oh, and he bagged it and put a little nice tie on it, and gave it to us. Right? And then --
[Laughs]
[Laughs]
It was a little more than an excuse me. It was like the guy outside the restaurant who grabbed my bootay.
That is not okay. [Laughs]
I would encourage you not to stand in front of the bathroom and look at it, while you’re dissociating, trying to figure out which bathroom you should go into, because the little sales guy at the desk will yell at you, “Hens!”
[Laughs] Not the roosters.
Not the roosters. So there’s no cock-a-doodle-do. It’s just a cluck, cluck, cluck.
[Laughs]
Look! That’s a big dinosaur.
[Laughs]
Prehistoric fossils. I need a picture of that.
The Jurassic Park car.
For my people.
Where were we? Oh, I was dissociating in the hen house.
[Laughs] Yeehaw!
As I’m walking out of the chicken coop --
h!
She’s driving. Don’t worry. We’re still here.
[Laughs] Oh, and here we are.
[Sings] Holiday Hills Resort. I’m going to wash Farmer Bob’s hand off my darey-are, because he grabbed it, and I should have smacked him, but I didn’t, because that’s assault.
[Laughs]
[Laughs] Thank you for that.
[Sings] And we’re practicing good boundaries. [Laughs]
And with that --
[Break]
Thank you for listening. Your support really helps us feel less alone while we sort through all of this and learn together. Maybe it will help you in some ways too. You can connect with us on Patreon. And join us for free in our new online community by going to our website at www.systemspeak.org. If there's anything we've learned in the last four years of this podcast, it's that connection brings healing. We look forward to connecting with you.